Intentional Friendships

"Friends! How many of us have them? Friends! Ones we can depend on. Friends! Before we go any further let's be friends!"

I know I write a lot on friendships but they are important so I shall continue to write! Feel free to post any questions, comments or social criticisms below.

"What about your friends, will they stand their ground? Will they let you down again? What about your friends, are they gonna be lowdown? Will they ever be around? Or will they turn their backs on you?"

The first quote is "Friends" by Whodini and the second is TLC's "What About Your Friends?". Most people have heard at least these parts of the songs and that is all that is really needed to understand this post. Actually, it really isn't, I just love both of those songs and they have been stuck in my head so, why not?

I was talking to a lady recently whose son had been in a horrible accident and she was telling me that at first, all of his friends were there helping and supporting him but in a matter of a couple weeks, no one was there. No calls or visits anymore, nothing. Isn't that just plain awful. But I guess that can happen. I told her that those people weren't really friends, they may be acquaintances, but you have to choose the people you call friend wisely. Not everyone you hang out with or talk to occasionally is your friend. That brief little chat got me thinking about all the people I have called friend in the past. Not all of them were real friends but I wanted to make it seem like I was well-liked so that is what I called them in different circles when the truth was I couldn't really stand most of them. Isn't that ridiculous?

It also made me wonder how many of those people really were friends that just lost communication for other reasons. I mean the young man is in college, there are sports, activities, events that his friends must participate in. Plus, because he cannot get around he has his mother staying with him in his dorm room, which is a bit awkward for those who are barely 19 and want to be on their own. There is also the possibility that he may be a jerk, but I have met with him and he seems to be a wonderful person but his constant procedures and medical needs keep him on a schedule that some may find it hard to fit into. My earlier post was about intentional music, this one is about intentional friendships. Some of you may be singing the well-known Travis Greene song in your head right now, and I am not mad at you for it, I just want to go deeper than that.



Above is a picture of Pon and Zi, two friends that I have loved since middle school. Back then, however, I was in a constant state of anxiety and I daresay depression and I used these images to remind me of broken relationships. It saddened me but made me happy because it felt like I wasn't the only one. Misery loves company, I guess. The creator of Pon and Zi has many sad images of the couple but many positive ones as well. (Disclaimer: I do not have any rights to them). I love this image because it is an example of what a real friendship is like. I was walking down the street with a friend I shall call M and we started singing at the top of our lungs, just random songs on our way home from helping out with a church event. It was late at night and people probably thought we were drunk but I didn't care and she didn't care because we were having fun together.

And I have another friend named F and whenever we get together we are a hot mess. Recently, she came to visit me and brought her boyfriend and I am sure he got to see a new side of her because we have always had this saying, "A friend is someone who will help you up when you fall. A best friend is someone who will push you down, laugh and then help you". Friends are the ones you can be your crazy, wonky, sarcastic self with. Friends will get all weird and fan-girl with you over the stuff your into even though it seems strange to others like anime and K-pop. Friends are always there when you need them. I mean, that is not totally true but they are there about 90% of the time. The only person who is always there is Jesus, but Jesus is our friend, right guys? ;)

I am such and tired of calling people friends who are really just colleagues or acquaintances that I won't get to know to well outside of whatever area I met them in. Just because someone is a friend of a friend does not make them mine and just because we got to the same church or watch the same shows does not make you my friend.

What makes a person qualified to be your friend?

Today's song is a classic: Robin Williams singing Friend Like Me

Intentional Music

Yay! This post is really all about music. Can you guys guess some of my favorite artists? No? I honestly didn't expect you to. I love music, it can change your entire mood and if you're not careful you're entire thought process. Some people who are Christian still listen to secular music and I, for one, do not have a problem with this. I still listen to some of the same music I did before I was born again. I believe that the real problem comes when you start listening to the music that held you captive in the world and think it wont effect you now that you want a relationship with God. But your are still growing in that relationship and before you start trying to play tag with the devil you need to build up your spiritual strength and make sure all your armor is on correctly. I have written about it before but the devil doesn't even try to tempt you with new stuff once you're saved, he brings those old things into remembrance. That is why we must be mindful and intentional about what we listen to. If you had a serious issue with cussing in the world and still listen to vulgar music, stop. If you had issues with lust and want to listen to the same pornographic songs, don't.

I am not saying that this is a one step process for everyone because it isn't but music impacts us more than you may think. When it first came out I listened to Lazarus by Trip lee every single day for over a month at the start of my day. it put a smile on my face and pumped me up. It prepared me with a positive attitude in which to face the day. Think about what you listen to in the morning and what you listen to at night. It doesn't always have to be Christian but it should never be something that pulls you back into wherever you were. It should be positive and uplifting. Personally, I love soul, R&B, neo-soul and showtunes. I could listen to Leela James or Gregory Porter all day. But that music still has a positive message in it, there is no profanity and if there is very very little and it is something I would not mind listening to with my grandma. Think about that next time you sit down and put headphones in your ear. Better yet, think about how God would feel if you listened to that song in His presence, because that is what you are doing.



Do you need something inspirational to listen to? Well, here is a list of my suggested artists and note that not all of them are Christian artists.

1. Leela James
2. Music Soulchild
3. Lyfe Jennings
4. Tedashii
5. Jonathan Mcreynolds
6. Gregory Porter
7. Brian Mcknight
8. Trip Lee
9. JGivens
10. John Givez
11. Canon
12. Andy Mineo
13. Shope
14. Swoope
15. Travis Greene
16. Martha Munizzi
17. Fantasia
18. Anthony Hamilton

We have to be mindful of everything we allow to be in our personal space because even though it may not seem like it at the time, it does mean something. I remember when I was young and CD's were still popular that my my dad, my brother and I were all driving somewhere and my dad had put in a Snoop Dogg CD. I fell asleep on the armrest in the back but when I woke up and the next time I heard one of those songs, I knew it by heart and I didn't even remember listening to it! We internalize everything we hear and see and that is why we have to be careful. We're meant to be in this world, not of it and if you still have the same mindsets as those in the world can you really say you are a Spiritual being? That is rhetorical but it is also something I want people to answer down below if you so choose.

The song for the day is Confetti by Shope

Get Myself To Right

"I gotta get myself together, 'cause I got someplace to go. And I'm praying when I get there I'll see everyone I know. I wanna go to Heaven."

Everybody knows Mary Mary, the dynamic sister duo backed up and supported by their family. At least everybody I know anyway. Well, this song just came to mind because it reminds me of what I need to do to get myself right. And soon. I have been pretty much alone in my grad school experience, no close friends or acquaintances, no one to hold me accountable or talk to about heavy issues except God. And I know very well that I need to be going to God with my issues and situations (both good and bad) but sometimes you need other people.

Lately, I stopped.

I stopped living the way I am used to and as a result I started getting bad, for lack of a word to describe my utter uselessness. It started affecting me physically. I felt drowsy and lazy while at the same time having all this nervous energy built up inside. Plus, I want you all to know that I am not coming from a place of victory against this thing just yet but I do understand it and I do know that I will be victorious. Now, back to your regularly scheduled broadcast. I was feeling ridiculously low and all of the old stuff I thought was dead and gone in the past started trying to come back. I started having awful nightmares and waking up in pools of sweat, started overeating (and I had trouble with binging in high school), started feeling just plain awful, procrastinating with the simplest tasks and putting off anything and everything that I didn't see as urgent. And the only thing I saw as urgent was sleep.

Well recently, I realized that maybe the reason I was feeling low down and just altogether messed up is because I had stopped living the way I am used to. I have not danced since I have been here. I have not worshipped in the morning before the start of my day, I have been slacking in bible study (I still do it but the commitment is not there as it should be) and I have not really been striving after God, even though I wrote posts about it. It is one thing to say something and another thing to live it out.

And that is where I come to in this little narrative. I had stopped living for God. Like, seriously! And the worst part is how long it took me to notice but God is still good and still moving in my life. Therefore I started thinking about what it meant to live. Just live and I looked at it from a secular and a Christian perspective.

According to dictionary.com to live is just to be alive and capable of vital functions. I don't really like this definition because it means that those who are disabled are not truly living. There were two definitions I looked up in my concordance though, The Hebrew chayah and the Greek zao. The first means to keep alive, to revive, to suffer to live, nourish up, preserve, and to be whole. Zao means to live, quicken.

So, I decided to read two passages: Psalm 119:17-24 (Gimel) and Psalm 118:17.

According to Psalm 119:17, to live is to keep God's word. And according to its counterpart the chapter before living is synonymous with declaring God's works. In Psalm 119:20 David says his soul broke for longing to live righteously. How can a soul break? I don't know but I know it's more powerful than when your heart breaks. From this I got that not only can I not make it on my own but if I am not living for the Lord then I am not living at all. And I had to stop putting off my responsibilities as a Christian. I wasn't really making God a priority, much less was He the center of my life. (And for those who don't know, when I say God I mean the Triune God: Father, Son and Holy Spirit.) So instead of putting it off I have to start saying yes.

 No more silencing the King.

Well Done by Deitrick Haddon

Biblical Role Model

Hey guys,

So lately, I have been really in a slump. Not just because of the election, I feel like there's just a lot of negative stuff all compounding on my shoulders at once and for a while I didn't even have the energy to do anything. I didn't do homework, was slacking at the gym, I wasn't even cooking. I had been surviving on carrots. And now I feel like I am starting to get back in the hang of things, not because of me but because I had someone I could talk to and she helped me out a lot. That is why fellowship is so common in my posts, especially my older ones. Anyway, today I was able to get a good amount of stuff done and even though I am nowhere near close to my usual productivity level, I am slowly starting to get back in the swing of things. Yay!!!

Also, for the past few days I have been drawn to Daniel. Don't get me wrong, I have read the book of Daniel plenty of times but these last few days I feel like I have just been directed to certain sections, not even whole chapters. Examples? Daniel 9:1-19, Daniel 2:14-35, Daniel 9:20-27. If you are wondering why chapter 9 is separated it's because I read them on different days. There was a lot for me to unpack and personally I feel like there is still more I can look at in order to understand these sections of Daniel. I mean I studied them and prayed and realized that I always did love hearing about Daniel. Not because he held a powerful position or survived a lion's den but just because of his personality. A few years back the one consistent prayer that I had was that God move in my prayer life and that he make me a prayer warrior. Looking back at Daniel, especially today, I realized that is exactly what Daniel was.

Daniel is like my Biblical role model and here are the attributes I admire in him.

1. He's bold
2. He's faithful
3. He has a great prayer life
4. He's wise
5. He is slow to speak
6. He is unafraid

These are all qualities I have desired at one time or another and they are ones I still want. I don't think I should ever stop praying for these things even after I receive them because God will never give me more than what I need in that present moment. For me I get a lot of encouragement from Daniel. He is this guy who prays not just for himself but his entire people. He is not afraid of what other people will say or do to him, he is unabashedly himself and I feel that (especially in America) kids are taught not to be themselves but to be who media or who their friends want them to be. Everyone has to conform or be subject to harassment which is so uncool, right? Right. I don't need no Amens on that one. Whenever someone asked him a question he gave it serious thought and he prayed before giving a response and that is simply amazing to me. He is simply so faithful and I look up to him.

Don't get me wrong, I don't idolize him but I appreciate that God provided us with his story so that people like me could use it as a kind of blueprint for our lives. And I feel that everyone should have someone they aspire to be similar to in the Bible. Trust me, I know people are out there thinking "Jesus!" which is great, I try to be like Jesus too, but I want everyone to remember that Jesus was perfect. And although we can never be perfect in the same way He was we can better ourselves by following the lives of those in the Bible which is (in my opinion) why God allowed these stories to be passed down until today. There are lessons we can learn from every single story in the Scriptures, usually more than one and that is why I think that everyone should have someone, other than the Son of the Most High, as a role model that they can think to themselves, I am going be like this person today and be bold for the Lord by doing this or I am going to think before I speak or something along those lines. What do you think?

Plus, when you have a role model you won't fall as easy because you will have those traits in the back of your mind and you will feel convicted to do what is right. And there is also the fact that when you compare yourself to a spiritual and mature person in the faith it will keep you from wailing on yourself. There are days where I feel like Jeroboam II and then I have to reprimand myself and say, no child you are not like that at all! You are not a Jeroboam, you are a Daniel, a Ruth! It is a reminder to yourself of who you are. On that note, to remind myself of who I am, I write affirmations and repeat them throughout the day in my head or out loud depending on where I am. And they all start with "I Am" because that is how God started His affirmation. It is how He introduced Himself and therefore, since we are made in His image, it is how we must introduce ourselves. And saying it to yourself keeps it in your mind and it only takes 21 days for something to become habit which means your whole mindset can change in less than a month!

But back to spiritual role models...like I said, I am looking to Daniel for an example of how an imperfect person can have such a close relationship with God. I mean, in Daniel 9:20-22, Daniel isn't even done praying before God sends Gabriel (yes, that Gabriel)  to come and give Daniel the understanding he was asking for!! I want to be that tight with my Lord, Friend and God. You?

So who is your Biblical role model? Who do you look to when you want a blueprint for how to behave in a certain situation? I'm curious so please comment!! :D

And just as a note, don't just have role models. Be one.

The song today doesn't have anything to do with this actual post, I just like it  so here goes: No Nah by Jor'Dan Armstrong

And do you guys actually listen to the songs? I put my heart into choosing them (usually)! Much love.

Apology

I am sorry for not getting to posting lately. You guys know I try to do it once a week but Grad life has got me more tired than I originally thought it would. I am either working or in class or working on something for class. There are no amount of memes that could do it justice. But while I'm on that can we talk a bit on apologies?

There are so many memes and songs out there there is even #sorrynotsorry that has been going around for forever and a day. I have talked about forgiveness a lot in the past but I can't recall a time where I ever brought up how to act when you are the one who did wrong, which is just as important and even more so in some respects. Sorry is a lot more than just trying to appease the other person and a real apology goes a lot farther than simple lip service. Think about it. How many times have you said sorry but didn't really feel sorry or apologetic? How many times did someone say sorry to you in that same stank-face way they offended you? You know they're not sorry and yet you are supposed to accept their apology!? What? How many times have you done that to someone else?

Don't get me wrong, we all do stupid stuff but apologizing is important because in its real form an apology is supposed to wipe the slate clean of than wrong you did. When you apologize you can't be rude and sarcastic. In fact, you should never say "I'm sorry" unless you mean it. Why? Because people can almost always tell when you don't and when that person can see you are lying they start to lose trust that has been built. This can lead to a whole other set of issues that are way too detailed to go into here but if you want just comment and I can give an example or two. When you apologize there are some things to take into consideration. I know that your parents probably forced you to apologize even when you weren't sorry but did something wrong. I'm not saying that's bad because it teaches kids responsibility but as an adult you should never do that.

I usually give a little how to or something like that and it is killing me not to right a long checklist of the dos and don'ts of apology but it is not necessary. You know when when you mess up. You know when you do wrong and you know when you are genuinely sorry. So take all those things into consideration when you decide to go up and apologize to someone.

An apology should be sincere if nothing else.

When you apologize you don't have to have balloons or jump out of an airplane. I know that some people believe that the size of the apology should fit the harm done but that's not me. I think that you should come with an open heart and mind and be sincere and if they don't accept that is on them. One thing about admitting you were wrong is the fact that you admit you were wrong meaning that some damage may be done to your pride. Can you handle that? Is the relationship with that person more important than your ego? If not then you aren't ready to apologize.

I have apologized for a lot of things in my life. Sometimes I apologize for other people and sometimes I apologize for things I didn't do just to make other people feel better. That is not okay. It is not okay to do that because when something is not my fault I have no reason to take blame and responsibility for it. I can say, "Sorry you feel that way" but I am not going to let the brunt of the hurt fall on my shoulders because that is not how I operate anymore. And I have a saying, "God did not send His Son to die on the third day and rise again for _________" and in my mind I am starting to fill in that blank with "me to be sorry for living my life". If someone makes you feel as though you have to apologize for everything you do because it offends them or doesn't suit them, don't keep apologizing. Find a new friend because there is a time when giving advice becomes policing your behavior and that's not cool. Especially if that friend never apologizes or throws blame on someone else when the time comes, drop them like a hot pot of grits. They are not there for you.

An apology should come from you heart. You should apologize because you want to and because it is how you really feel not because someone thinks you should because that leaves you with hurt in your heart and I have really started thinking about self care and apologizing for no reason is not a part of self care.

Zootopia: Stigma and Prejudice

 

Hey guys,

Have you all seen the movie Zootopia? It's fairly new and just came out on Netflix so I suggest you watch it before and/or after you read this post. I don't think I've ever talked about a movie before but I am going to today because this movie is extremely interesting and has a lot of hidden meaning, like children's movies did back in the 80s and 90s. First things first, the animation was great and the characters were great and the movie really had a deep message that relates to the society we're living in today. What do I mean by this? Well, I'm glad you asked.

1.) Officer Judy Hopps is a rabbit who has big dreams and everyone (even her parents) tell her that she can't do it because she is a rabbit. Similarly, in today's society many people are told that they can't live out their dreams because of race, gender, religion and socio-economic status. This is just wrong and Judy proves to everyone that with enough hard work anyone can live their dreams, even if other mammals still do not believe in her after she gets her badge.

2.) Nick Wilde is a fox and because of his heritage people ostracize him and categorize him. He can't help his species (race) but he is consistently judged by it.

3.) Because of the stigma he faces Nick decides that he won't show emotion anymore, that he won't let anyone see the pain he feels. He also decides that "if the world is only going to see a fox as shifty and untrustworthy, there's no point in trying to be anything else". Isn't that deep!!!!

4.) People easily begin to distrust predators because of one person (or bunny) and that distrust turns into hate and resentment. This shows how just one person can really change the climate of a society. People who were once friends with predators now ignore them or don't let their children near them. One person's words had such a huge and negative impact.

These are just four of the ways I think Zootopia looks at the racial, gender, ethnic and other stigmas that pervade our world today. The fact that Disney chose to include these things in an animated movie is amazing because this is a movie that teaches the youth something.

Seeking God

So, I have been thinking about the whole idea of the word "seek" for a few weeks and yesterday God gave me the understanding I needed. So below is what I learned yesterday on seeking and this morning on calling. The parentheses come from the Strong's reference number if you want to look it up. For those who know Hebrew and Greek, I apologize but I have no idea how to make accents on this thing.

Seek (1875)
Hebrew- darash: to tread; frequent; follow; pursue; search out; to diligently inquire
Seek (1245)
Hebrew-baqash: to search out (in worship and prayer); to strive after; to ask/beseech/ beg/enquire; to make inquisition; to require

These two words are intentional. They both mean "seek" bit tjere are other words with the same meaning that sound reactional not proactive like these two. God wants us to diligently inquire after Him and search Him out. This means we must go to Him in praise, worship and prayer, striving after a relationship with Him. Baqash means to ask and to beg. We must need God and His love, mercy and grace. It can't just be a fleeting want. I have to be desperate for one on one time with my Lord. In Isaiah 55:6 it is darash meaning to follow and search out. I think this is interesting because yes, there are times where we must wait on the Lord but there are other times we have to move and get up and Seek His face. Darash is also a very vocalized thing, it isn't seeking primarily in prayer and worship like baqash, it is real life calling out for God. It's like a real intense game of man hunt.

Isaiah 55:6
"Seek ye the LORD while he may be found, call ye upon him while he is near:"

Does this verse mean that God is hiding from us? Or does He just want to see if His children love Him enough to seek His face when He's not standing right beside them catering to their every need? Isaiah tells us to seek Him and call upon Him, both very intentional. This entire year the theme I keep going back to is intentionality. God is intentional and as we are made in His likeness we should also be intentional. This weans we can't be reactive, Don't just wait for issues and situations to come up in your life and react by reaching out to God. Seek God first (proactively) so that when those issues come up you're not even stressed because you've spent enough time with God to know He's going to take care of everything.

Seek and Call!

There's a song and some of the lyrics are "call out His name, (Jesus), and He will run to you". That's what I'm reminded of here. If you are truly purposeful in your pursuit of God, He won't walk to answer you, He'll run. That's just who He is and how much He loves to hear us calling on Him and wanting to know Him.

Now that I meditate on it I think that the reason David was a man after God's own heart was because He truly yearned to know the Lord and have a personal relationship with Him. He was always intentional about His faith and because of that His heart was in a good place even though he messed up and sinned big time.

One of the definitions of barash is to tread. I think that, in context, this means treading in the Lord's footsteps. Following Him wherever He goes. In real life having someone always behind you would be annoying and creepy but that is something God wants us to do with Him. If we're to be His sheep we must follow Him. This is something I'm going to pray on and look at more thoroughly in the next few weeks.

Call (7121)
Hebrew- qara: to call out to; address by name; to cry unto
Call (2753)
Greek- keievo: to hail, to bid

Isaiah 58:9
Call upon the Lord and He'll answer, cry unto Him and He'll be there.

Cry (7768)
Hebrew- shava': to shout; halloo for help or freedom

Isaiah 58
We must be wary of our spiritual lethargy.
Lethargy- the state of being drowsy/dull/ listless/ unenergetic or indifferent and lazy; apathetic/sluggish inactivity.

Isaiah 58:1-3
The people don't even realize they are spiritually lethargic. God has to ask Isaiah to show it to them. The thing to note here is that the people were still performing religious acts, doing the rituals set out in the Torah (the first five books) but they really were only going through the motions. I think this is important because going through the motions i.e. attending services, giving to the poor, does not mean anything if your heart is not where it should be. Lethargy is the state of being unenergetic. Spiritual lethargy is the same thing in regards to faith. A spiritually lethargic person is not, necessarily, someone who has no presence in the church. A spiritually lethargic person is one who does not truly seek God's will. (It's amazing how everything in the Bible relates to something else.) The people Isaiah is asked to minister to perform tons of religious acts but they do it for themselves, not God's glory. They are even so proud as to get upset with God for not noting their acts, their performance.

Lethargy is the complete opposite of intentionality. A lethargic person doesn't call out to God, they are reactive if they are active at all. They are completely indifferent about the state of their relationship with God. One thing I want to note is that this is a state of being, it isn't permanent. Lethargy is like complacency in whatever spiritual position you're in, not yearning to grow or mature. Because it is only a state of being anyone can fall into it and many don't realize they do, like the Israelites. That's why it's important to have Christ-like people around you, not just in your circle but your circle as a whole. They'll be there to notice your lethargy and pull you out of it. It shouldn't take a revival or some famous preacher or a conference for us to to want to build our relationship with God. There are times we don't realize we're stagnant and that's why we must try our hardest to seek God and be intentional about our faith!

The Hustle In Me

Trying to grind my way up

This isn't going to be a long post where I talk about my innermost feelings in detail but there is something I want you people out there to know. I can't do anything by myself. And when I try I usually end up making things worse then they were when I started out. I think that I can do it on my own and figure things out for myself. I am an independent woman, I don't need anyone's help! And then it is like walking up the down escalator or climbing a wet metal slide in the summer. Pointless and painful.

And then it's like when you do something our mom specifically told you not to do and end up getting hurt and says. "See, I told you what would happen. Ain't no point in crying now, that's what you get." The cool thing is that even though I know I deserved it for being an idiot and God knows, He'll never be like, "I told you so." Isn't God amaze-balls? Yes, I said amaze-balls. Get over it. God doesn't hold our failures over our heads, he picks us back up and tells us that if we focus our energy and attention on Him we don't have to keep falling into traps along the wayside. All He wants us to do is pay attention to Him and isn't that what we should be doing anyway? No shade, because we all do it, but I want to be 100% real with everyone out there. I don't do it all the time but I should and it's going to take some time but I'm willing to put in the work.

Psalm 121:1-2
"I will lift up mine eyes unto the hills, from whence cometh my help. (2) My help cometh from the LORD, which made heaven and earth."

If we know where our help comes from why don't we focus on that instead of our problems? How many people out there have heard these two verses but had no idea where they came from? Hebrews 12:1-2 talks about the race we all have to run. We have to lay aside the weights and the sin that keep us from having faith in God and what He has said. We do this by gaining endurance in our faith, by living it out everyday. When you practice having faith, soon you won't have to practice it anymore and you can run the race with your eyes on the Godhead instead of turning to every distraction that pops up.

 Sometimes you hear things over and over and begin to get desensitized to it but never allow yourself to stop taking the Word seriously. It is our instruction manual for life and without it would be like putting together a German IKEA table with no help. And I cannot even imagine doing that.

I don't have to struggle and work to do things all on my own, I have God and an army of angels supporting me. I have a direct line to the Creator when I am in need or want to talk. I have so much support there is no reason for me to do things on my own. Even though I feel like sometimes God is taking too long or isn't following my directions specifically. Focus on God and depend on Him for all your needs even if your inner hustle is telling you you can do it on your own.

Remember this:


Faith doesn't make things easy but it does make them possible and when we have enough faith to stay focused on Him, when we believe in the authority of the Lord it changes us. Ask yourself this question: Am I crazy enough to believe Him? Are you? If you are you won't keep thinking that you can do it on your own or that you can do it better than God. I know that at times I'm so focused on my hustle that I don't give my God the attention and time He deserves. And you can't have a relationship with someone if you never spend time with them. So I will continue to work on my faith and focus on the Lord who wants us to praise like it is already done.

This is the song of the day: Focus by Jor'dan Armstrong

If you have anything you want me to talk about feel free to comment and let me know. I am all for suggestions.

Forgiving Myself

The Bible says to forgive people. I've talked about it, those who have read a few of my posts know all the mess I have lived through and conquered. I seem to be able to forgive everyone, except myself. We all go through it, and if not let me live with my delusion. I've gone through some hard times but I was brought up to have tough skin, even if was not on purpose. Times got hard, things got rough, you got shoved and tossed around and sometimes you did the shoving but not often. In fact, rarely and it made you feel awful. You get played like a fool almost everyday of your life and people keep telling you to forgive and forget. And then they want to say to treat others as you want to be treated well, here is where I talk about my common experiences with those two maxims.

Forgive and forget is ridiculous. It is important, nay imperative, to forgive others especially if you want to be forgiven however forgetting is stupid. Why? Because if you forget how you were hurt, misled or deceived in the past you cannot use that new knowledge to guide you through your future. In fact, you'll just keep making the same mistakes over and over again, expecting to get a new outcome and we all know that that's the definition of insanity, right? So, I am all for forgiving those who do you wrong from the person that shoves you on Black Friday to the person who mugs you or abuses you (in any way). We need to forgive others not for them but for ourselves. How can we expect to be forgiven if we do not forgive? Plus, we've been forgiven and we should show the same courtesy. But forgetting is a trap that will lead you into a downward spiral and you'll wonder why the same things keep happening, why you keep getting hurt and it is, in part, your fault because you did not guard your heart like the Bible tells us to.(Proverbs 4:23)

And on to the next thing, The Golden Rule. We are told again and again to treat others as you wish to be treated. I do not disagree with this sentiment and it shows up time and time again in our guidebook for life. (Matthew 7:12) We must treat others with respect, kindness and love no matter what. All I am trying to say is that no matter how often I do this to those who wish me harm, it never works out well. Actually, let me stop lying, it doesn't usually work out well which is why I have developed such a tough elephant skin, I guess. I have been hurt repeatedly, I have felt sorrow and there are times when I feel as though God has picked me out specifically for trials and tribulations. People usually take kindness for weakness and that is not okay. Everyone has a different way to deal with this, some put up with it and some strike back. I try to put up with it and not let it get me down because in the back of my mind I know that that person will get whatever is coming to him. Recently, I've been studying 1 Peter and in chapter 4 it states that a believer will barely pass judgement and so I am trying to do everything I can to make my Father proud of me and sometimes that means bearing with it when the punches come. It also means that I have to stop being petty and passive aggressive, two things I became very good at while I was in the world.



Now going back to forgiveness. I have done things I am not proud of. I have been on the receiving end of these things too and I have the tendency to blame myself for whatever befalls me. No matter what happens, it has always been my fault. Even if I'm a thousand miles away from the situation, if it happens to someone I know it's because I didn't talk to them enough or love them enough or try and guide them to Christ as I should have. Now that I think about it, it's like I am trying to make everything about me. I have never thought of it in that way before but I can see things in front of myself, unlike many. I truly admire the quote above. I have always been at war with myself. Sometimes I feel like there are two versions of me, the one I show and the one I keep locked away, the real me. But in all honesty, they are both me whether I like it or not and instead of fighting myself and feeling awful all of the time I have to learn to put my mistakes in the past where they belong and keep it moving.

Don't get it twisted, this does not mean I lock my past into a closet and bolt the door hoping that nothing will slip out and rear it's ugly head. But I did do that in the past. It means understanding that there is a closet, looking into it, no matter how afraid you are of what you might find and dealing with every single issue one at a time. Heartache, pain, lies, guilt, regret, anger. Every single negative thought that has kept me up or dragged me down to a place I didn't want to be. By locking that closet I was living in fear, I was afraid that someone would bring up something or that I would look at the bolted door one day and find it open, like in some horror film. Now, those things aren't in that closet and after dealing with them, they've all but gone away. I am not going to say that my problems disappeared in a cloud of smoke but they did shrink to a manageable size and that's a blessing in and of itself. They aren't hanging over my head, filling me with dread. And the only reason they still exist is because they happened. They do not have control of me because I have realized that I have been forgiven for all the lies I've told and every wrong thing I have ever done. Isn't that cool :D? Anyway, I just wanted to let you guys know that forgiveness isn't a one time thing. It's a process and just as you will have to continuusly forgive those that have wronged you, you'll have to forgive yourself because you will mess up from time to time. No one is perfect and we must be able to live with ourselves in that and try our hardest to mimic our Messiah who is perfect. This means there will be sufferings but those are just signs of blessings to come, never forget that.

God loves you! If you ask He will guide you so that you can be saved from your own self-loathing. Or whatever you are dealing with. What good parent would want to see their child suffer? None. And the same is true with the Lord. So please take just one minute and ask God for the strength to forgive yourself. Cling to Him and He'll respond in turn.

The song for today is :Forgive You Much by Deraj

Be blessed!

Imago Dei

When I look in the mirror what do I see?

First of all, I just got used to looking in the mirror. But that's just me and my personal battle, that I've overcome. Jonathan McReynolds has a song called Lovin' Me. One of the lines says "when I look in the mirror and don't like what I see, You keep lovin' me". Isn't that powerful? Sometimes I don't like what I see in the mirror. It can be that I just look a hot mess or that I have done something I am not proud of and see the shame and regret on my face. The Bible discusses abiding in Christ as He abides in you. (John 15:4-7) We are His temple, correct? Yet God cannot live in an unholy place so is it time to do some spring cleaning in your temple? I am not throwing shade, I just want to pose a question to those who read this blog. Imago Dei, the image of God. Let's go back to the beginning: Genesis 1:26-27.

"And God said, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness: and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth. (27) So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them."

This comes from the King James Version because I'm old school like that. For any confusion that might ensue, when it says "our" it is God talking to himself and since He is triune  (three in one) it is plural not singular. God created man in his own image. Therefore we should look like God. When we stare at the mirror brushing our teeth, doing our hair, putting in contacts, we should not only see ourselves but see Him in the reflection. Remember Mulan? Well, when will your reflection show who you have inside? What I love about the term "Imago Dei" is that it means that no matter what we look like on the outside we should all look like Him on the inside. There is no set group of people that look more like God than any other. It's only equality in Jesus Christ and if anyone tells you different you need to quote Jesus and say "Get thee behind me Satan!" We all look like God, which goes back to my old post about diversity in the Kingdom. I feel like that is an encouragement that you should take with you and if it helps, repeat it on the daily. Remember who He made you to be. He loved you so much that He made you, specifically, to look like Him. 

Personally, I see me but do I see Him within me? Not always. And that is not good at all. Because I can't be holy sometimes. Hate cannot live in the same place as love. As I said, God cannot abide in someone who is living in sin. Before I go on let me clarify something, living in sin means continuing to sin with no remorse. It does not mean slipping every now and again. We are all human, we all sin sometimes. Anyway, God cannot live in those who live in sin and so we have to clean our house like Isaac Carree. So I need all of you to declare:

I can't focus on the past and all my shortcomings in it, I have to move on and look to the future!

Moving Forward- Israel Houghton

How can we, as Christ-followers work to see Him in our reflection?

This is not an easy question to answer and if you have any suggestions feel free to comment below! I have been praying and asking God how I can make sure that He is proud of me and the answer came to me in a short sermon by Tony Evans in his "Watch Your Mouth" series. I was watching part 3 of the series this morning and it was like God opened up the clouds and a ray of sunshine fell on me. He said that our words and thoughts can either make God happy or it can frustrate Him. The Israelites complained because they didn't get what they wanted although they had what they needed. Ouch! I will be the first to say that sometimes I complain because things don't go exactly the way I want them to, forgetting to be grateful for the things I have. Clothes, a home, food, and a relationship with God. Psalm 19:14 is a scripture we are all familiar with.

But maybe it's time to stop repeating and praying this scripture mindlessly and truly believe in the things you are saying. Pray for it earnestly. Ask God to change your heart so that your words and your thoughts reflect Him! Instead of using your words to harm others or yourself, use them to encourage others. Our speech reflects the state of out hearts (Matther 12:35-37). God is going to bring every single idle or hurtful word to our remembrance when we pass away. He is going to play back everything we have ever said, will it make Him proud? Do you believe that your words will make Him proud to call you His child? I know it's hard, it is something I will have to work on but this is one way I think I can reflect God when I look in the mirror. What do you think?

Well Done by Deitrick Haddon

On Civil Disobedience

So lately, there has been an uproar in regards to people refusing to be a part of the national anthem of the USA. Some people say it's unpatriotic while others are claiming "It's about time!". Either way it goes, people are now being forced to take notice. With everything going on in politics, with Caucasians wearing blackface and claiming to be n----s, the US is at a critical point in its history. Either there will be a revolution or the media will beat down the freedom that comes with Constitutional rights as it has done innumerable times in the past. What do you believe will happen? In the 60s people were either on the side of Martin Luther King Jr. or Malcolm X. And the Black Panthers were demonized. However, most do not know that the Black Panthers never hurt anyone who did not threaten or abuse them first. In fact, the offered jobs for women, provided food and schooling for the poor and did a lot more for the benefit of the community, but I digress. Dr. King Jr. believed in civil disobedience, in making use of the rights that were deemed "inalienable" in one of the founding documents and yet him and those who agreed with him were seriously abused because of it. Are not people just doing the same thing in 2016? I shouldn't have to sing a song that I do not agree with. I have the right to take a stand against injustice, or do I only have that right when it does not show the dark side of this country's ingrained values and twisted belief system. If you think I am over exaggerating, there was a young man who killed an elderly Black woman and he only got 60 days in jail with no parole. Yet a Black woman who does not harm anyone, who had been abused in the past got sentenced to 20 years for shooting a gun in her own home.

So what about civil disobedience? It is when we decide that we can no longer stand for the injustice of the justice system and the prejudices of African Americans. And this is not just about African Americans, it is about all of those groups claimed to be "minorities". Black people have been doing this for a very long time, it is only coming to the forefront now that stars are doing it. I never said the pledge of allegiance and I don't even know the words to our national anthem, but I can play it on my flute :). What do you do when you don't believe in something, how can you pretend you do just so that it can look good and make other people happy?

The country has a lot of strongholds that need to come down. Prejudice is one of them. It keeps "minorities" (anyone who is not Caucasian) down. Historically, this has been seen over and over again. People should take a stand, they should make their voices heard because it is about time. We should not let pressure from the rich and privileged force us down back into the positions they deem us worthy to have. This goes for all diverse people. Open your eyes and look at the world in front of you. We are taught that America is the greatest country in the world and yet. We are taught that to live anywhere else would be awful, that everything is perfect in America but the truth of the matter is that it is not, the biases are just a lot more secretive.

We have chains that need to be broken, and although they cannot be seen as in the past they are ever present. Just because there are a few minority "superstars" does not mean the country is past discrimination. And because we have strongholds to tear down I can think of a few ways to do it. Stand for what you believe in and praise God in the midst of the situation, using your words to bring Him glory and honor and giving Him thanks for what He is going to do. Change will happen and we cannot do it on our own but with God on our side who can stand against us? Jeremiah marched and praised seven times and the walls fell. Paul and Silas praised and the chains broke and the doors opened. We have power but are taught not to think about it. We are taught to be comfortable in our horrid situations because "it could always be worse" but guess what? It can also be a whole lot better. But we can not continue sitting on our do-nothings and complaining all day. It's time to form a united front and take action. Don't let yourself be bullied into a corner, going along with something you don't believe is right because you aren't qualified or think someone who is a better speaker is going to come along and wow the world. It's cheesy and played out but that doesn't make it any less true:

If not now, when? If not you, who?

Till the Walls Fall by Martha Munizzi

Let's Get Deep

Hey everyone,

I have been going through some inner turmoil lately. I haven't been able to sleep and it seemed that life was just not gonna go well. I don't know how many others have felt the same kind of thing going on but...anyway, like I said I haven't been sleeping because of everything and the burden I felt. So I wrote about it in my journal. This isn't like a diary journal, it's where I keep my notes from Bible studies, sermons, anything that has to do with the God I serve. Mind you this is at like 5 AM. I cannot begin to describe the emotion I felt so I am just going to literally type my journal entry in the way I wrote it below. There will be no pictures, no songs, no cute quotes or anecdotes to help explain. I just want people to understand where I come from on the daily and see where you come from as well. Just so you know there's a difference from being in a pity party and venting your frustrations. Here I am doing the latter, it was actually my first time writing about my rings ever. Go ahead, think I'm pathetic if you must but know this: I woke up this morning after writing down my feelings feeling better than I had in a very long time. I felt as though God loved me and feeling it is a lot different from knowing it. This is going to be long so sit tight and enjoy the ride. 

So, it's a little after 5 in the morning and I'm sitting writing this because for the past few days sleep has eluded me and I decided to make myself useful. When I was at Stetson, I noticed that my rings were gone. I, stupidly, thought that I had misplaced them and that they would eventually show up. I don't know why- whenever I wore them I ALWAYS put them neatly back. They never showed up. Now here at Penn I'm fully realizing my stupidity. I didn't notice they were gone earlier because I hardly ever wore them. I actually don't know what happened to them, seeing as the boxes are still in tact someone must have stolen them. Was it J when he stole my tablet or S? Did she pick her way into my room as she had shown me before, back when we were on good terms? Honestly, I don't know. I have no idea and while I hat not knowing what I hate more is my own stupidity. Am I too gullible, too trusting, too desperate to be liked and cared for that I can't see a person's true nature? And where is God in all this? I think it's a valid question. I know I can't be mad at Him, it was me who put me in this situation but why hasn't He spoken on this yet? Or has He and I, still being ignorant of the different ways He speaks, ignored it? Did I mishear? Sometimes I just want to be like "Are you there God? It's me." But even before I went to bed tonight I thought about God and thanked Him for getting me out of some awful times.

And it's not like I'm attached to the rings themselves (just like with the tablet). It's more like the ties and the stories. The rings in question are the black and white diamond ring Mom got me and the ruby ring Louise bought. They left the blue one so they must've thought it wasn't valuable. Anyway, I feel like I've let so many people down before. I feel like I let my parents down, my friends down. I feel like I let myself down. And worst of all, I have this constant feeling as though I let God down. I know shame isn't of God but I wouldn't call this feeling shame. I'd call it more of a disappointment. As I write this I'm crying because I'm so tired of letting people down. Just imagining the look in my mother's eyes if she were to ever find out breaks my heart open. I feel like I have never once truly made her proud of me, not like she's proud of C. I try so hard to be a good person, to be godly as well as earthly good but it's like I lack any real sense of humanity, of human emotion. I'm in grad school. Why? It's not like I think it's necessary for living but here I am racking up another set of student debt to add more letters to the end of my name. Where is God in that?

I feel like now that I'm here He's going to use me for His glory but I feel like I'm just going to disappoint, like I do in every other facet of my life. I mean, does anyone else know what it feels like to be a walking mass of disappointment and regret? I know I shouldn't dwell on the past, God has even reminded me of it recently but I'm only human and it's harder than it sounds. God, where are you? Are you still leading me? How long will you leave me blindfolded? God please help me. Please. The Old Lady bought me that ruby ring. It's my birthstone and it was a beautiful ring. She got it because everyone in my family has a ring with their birthstone. It made me happy to feel a part of the family, especially from the side that treated me like a pariah growing up. Old Lady, my grandmother, it's not like she's rich. My grandfather is sickly and thousands upon thousands go to his health every year and still she saved and bought me that ring. And now it's gone. And I, being the idiot I'm known to be, am once again standing with my mouth open wide like Boo Boo the Fool.

That leads me back to the question I had when I started writing this. Am I gullible? Too trusting? I instinctively believe that people, at least those around me, are trustworthy when over and over I've been proven wrong. Maybe I'm insane. Is there a cure for being too trusting? The Bible talks about forgiveness but it never says to become a fool and yet here I am, the embodiment of foolish naivete and gullibility. Those same traits which led me to becoming a statistic and still I can't throw them off. I can't get rid of them.

Lord, take this cup from me!

God please get rid of this thorn in my side, the idiocy that seems an inherent part of my nature which has only ever brought pain into my life. I think I know what Jesus felt like when He exclaimed, "Eli Eli lama sabacthani?!" Lord, why have you allowed this to happen? Why have You allowed me to remain this way? As far as I can see, there are no benefits, no nothing. Please give this burden to another, someone stronger, who can bear it. I don't think I can carry this load anymore. It's weighing on me so heavy that I have to crawl down the path I'm on trying to finish this race. I guess it goes hand in hand though, with a sermon I heard recently. The preacher said it's not about going for gold, silver or even bronze, it's about crossing the finish line. Well God, I can't even see the finish line. It must be somewhere after the mountains, valleys, deserts and other things You've set before me but I'm still on that road God. But please Lord, please answer my questions today. Please God, tell me why You've given me this burden even if You find it best for me to keep it. What good can it do? Aren't I made low enough already?

Unlike Paul I have no reason to boast if I wanted to. I've never been good at anything, didn't come from a prominent family. In fact, I feel like at best I'm mediocre and yet I feel as though You keep knocking me down the rungs of the ladder before I even have a firm hold on the one above me. God I know You're there, I know You care and I know You're listening. I'm just asking for a few moments of Your time. Just spare a second and let me hear Your voice. I'm not asking for a talking donkey, just something clear, something I'll understand. I need a Word from You Lord and I don't know how to get it unless You provide it for me. God, why can't I do anything right? Why am I so pitiful? Lord, I am sick of being a disappointment but before I realize it here I am again staring at a mirror and seeing plain stupidity. What more can I say besides what's already been said? Lord, please please please. 

I know You're there, I know You hear me. This poor man is crying Lord so deliver me out of all my troubles! Actually, you don't even have to deliver me from all of them, just this one. I'd be sated with just a little helping of a blessing. I don't need a Canaan or a Red Sea parted. I know its in Your power the question is whether or not its in Your will. But either way Lord, I'm laying my heart, bare and broken, to You.

Dating 3

Question: Are you actually ready to date?

One thing that I didn't really touch on too much in the earlier posts in this series is whether or not someone is actually prepared to be in a committed relationship with another person. A whole lot of people think they are just because they want to be in a relationship but that's not right. You may want a lot of things but that doesn't mean you're ready for them. That's something that I, as a Christian, know for a fact. Abraham and Sarah wanted a child and even though they had a promise from God they decided to take it into their own hands because they wanted a child. And because of that generations of hostility were created between the children of brothers Isaac and Ishmael. They wanted a child and guess what? That child they had spent his life hating their other descendants. Short story: just because you want something doesn't mean you need it. 

That being said, below are some questions you should take a look at. Seriously think about the question before you move on to the next one. If you want, answer them on a sheet of paper and post it on a wall somewhere. Whatever makes you clever. I did not create these questions and won't take credit for them but they did make me stop and think. I was like "Woah!" and I realized I was not ready to walk into a relationship and if I got into one, it probably wouldn't have lasted long. 

1. Do I know who I am?
2. Do I know how to communicate?
3. Do I know what boundaries are and how to keep them?
4. Do I have a vision for my own life?
5. Do I have community in my life?
6. What does my walk with Jesus look like?
7. Am I teachable? Can I receive feedback?
8. Am I responsible and do I know how to take care of things?
9. Do I know how to serve?
10. Do I honor people?
11. Do I know how to forgive people and ask for forgiveness?

Answer these questions. Can you honestly answer them in the affirmative? Think about it. Until you can answer all of them you probably aren't ready for a relationship.

These questions are courtesy of Pastor Antoine Ashley from Deland Lighthouse Church.

I have always believed that you can't give another person something you don't have. If you try then you're lying to that person and yourself. We can't try and make people complete us. We need to be complete before we start a relationship. Your significant other should never complete you. They should complement you. And I stand by that wholeheartedly. Another thing is that you should never go into a relationship with less than 100% because it can lead to all kinds of issues. You become somebody's project. And it might hurt to ask yourself this but, are you a renovation? And the thing is, with people a new coat of paint won't do much. You have to be a full renovation. Demolition, asbestos removal, you name it. That is a project you need to undertake by yourself (with God) so that your significant other doesn't waste money, time and effort on a home that ain't worth nothing. And I'm sure none of you want to waste time either, right. So save yourself the hassle, the pain and the arguments by making sure you are whole before you try and find that person who can complement your life completely.

If you do decide to go into a relationship make sure it's a healthy one. 

Blessings,

Chy

Spiritual Gifts

Everyone Has Different Spiritual Gifts

Not everyone was meant to be a preacher or to sing in the choir. Not everyone was called to do everything. The Bible says this many times and yet we are always upset about the things we can't do and even know we aren't meant to do certain things, we still try to do them! That makes absolutely no sense, now does it?

Just like in the natural everyone has certain talents. Some people can do things better than others or are more comfortable doing certain things. I completely get when someone does not feel like they don't have spiritual gifts or when they do not know where they fit into the body of Christ I felt the same way at one point. And even though I still have a lot more to learn about where God wants me and where He is calling me to be I feel like after a while I started to understand what I was good at.

If you want to learn more about Spiritual gifts and figure out what yours may be click on this link and take the test: Spiritual Gifts or this one which can be printed and handed out at a service Spiritual Gift Explanation. And just in case you were thinking about it, in order for you to get a real handle on what your gifts are you can't lie on the test! And I encourage you to talk with someone, like a youth pastor or another Christian who is navigating the straight and narrow. Talk about gifts, read His Word on them and try and see where you fit in. It is completely understandable to want to have another's gift. It's in our natural nature. The thing is you have to quench that nature (and it is hard when you feel like you don't have a place in His kingdom). But once you figure out what your gifts are you can figure out how best to use them to glorify God....not yourself. That is key.

And if you don't fee like going to the site here is a cute pic to show you the 26 Spiritual Gifts.

Plus, There Are Different Ways to Use These Gifts

Everyone has different gifts, get it? Got it? Good! Now that we've established that we can talk about the different ways that people put their gifts to use for the glory of God and His kingdom.

You don't have to be good at everything, God is happy with us even though we have many, many, many faults. Those who have the gift of mercy, like myself, are good with things such as fellowship, missionary and other forms of outreach. Then there are those who have the gift of knowledge. God allows them to know things without them ever hearing about them before. You may have heard of a time where someone knew another's name or action without knowing that person at all, this is an example of it. In fact, in John 4, when Jesus is talking to the Samaritan woman He uses this gift to tell her about everything she ever did in regards to her marriage and her adultery.

Some people are called to pastor, some to be ushers but the positions which are so obvious aren't the only ones that matter. Every gift is important even if it is not always esteemed by man, We all know this verse but I'm just going to state it again but if you want to see if for yourself read 1 Corinthians 12.

1 Corinthians 12:18
But now hath God set the members every one of them in the body, as it has pleased him.

And like I said, every part of the body is important.

1 Corinthians 12:22-25
Nay, much more those members of the body, which seem more feeble, are necessary: (23) And those members of the body, which we think to be less honourable, upon these we bestow more abundant honour; and our uncomely parts have more abundant comeliness. (24) For our comely parts have no need: but God hath tempered the body together, having given more abundant honour to that part which lacked: (25) That there should be no schism in the body; but that the members should have the same care one for another.

Like I said, everyone is important and we should never let differences in spiritual gifts create a rift between His people and His body. So you can use your gift in a variety of ways. You can use it to be a teacher, you can use it to talk to strangers and share God's love without bashing them over the head with the Word. You can sing, dance or connect with others in any way that best suits you and the gift within you. Don't get me wrong, pastors, ministers, evangelists and the like are all wonderful and necessary people but you don't have to be one to be someone in God's eyes. If you feel like God is calling you to be a bus driver, go for it! Don't listen to other people or your own doubt when you begin to think that it isn't an important job. You can spread God's love to thousands over the years while you sit in that drivers' seat. Did you ever think about that? Serve God in the way you feel led and as long as you continue to keep your eyes focused on Him and don't fall by the wayside, God can do anything through you.

As you go about your daily routine remember that our gifts are meant to bring Him glory and to work together for the benefit of the body we all are a part of, the body of Christ.

Many Gifts, One Spirit!

Testimony

Let's Get Real...Again

I have already shared a little about myself. I try to not get too personal but sometimes its necessary. I am not quite sure how deep this post is going to get but I just want someone to understand what I am trying to say. I want someone out there who's reading this, whether in the US, Egypt or Russia to at least try and attempt to see where I am coming from when I say that I love hearing testimonies even though giving my own is quite rough.

It's amazing to see what other people have gone through, what they have lived through. Sometimes, I sit back and think, "Wow, I would've given up" or "I never could've survived". I get so awe struck at the things people have experienced. The amazing thing is that everyone reacts to a situation differently and maybe that same person would've lost hope if they would have walked in my shoes. I am so glad that I personally made it through.

I came from what looked to be a pretty good household. My mother rented a nice apartment so that from the outside we looked wealthy. Nobody knew that she was struggling to put food on the table. My parents are married, which is more rare nowadays then ever before. Nobody knew that my dad was in jail or drunk or high most of my childhood. There were mixed signals coming from everywhere. There was hurt and pain. Physical. Mental. Emotional. I can't even count all the times I wanted to take my life or the lives of those who hurt me. (This is when someone in the audience shouts, "But God!!!"). Honestly, I didn't know what it was at the time. Trust me, I tried to take my life but I never succeeded. At first, I couldn't stop thinking, "I'm such a failure I can't even kill myself right" now looking back on it I realize that God is the one who stopped me from doing it. Anyway, this is supposed to be about more than just me and what I have to say. It's about the power of testimony.

In the Bible we see how amazing testimonies can truly be. We are healed by our testimonies and so are others. Isn't that amazing?! Those who are going through something similar to what you experienced can find encouragement in your words. It can give others hope that God will deliver them and set them upon a rock just as He did with you (Psalm 40:2). It reminds them that God has never once forgotten them and even when they seem alone, a hand is reaching down to pull them out of the mess they're end.

Another cool thing is that once you get over the initial fear of being mocked and ridiculed, once you have shared at least once, giving your testimony begins to get easier and easier. In Acts 4:20 it talks about how God's people couldn't stop giving their testimony.

Random Interlude: No testimony is more important than another! Not everyone was a drug addict or a soldier or some other testimony that we think may sound more righteous and cool amongst our peers. Your testimony is meant to remind you of what you went through so that you can help others who are going through the same thing. Testimonies aren't supposed to be like Liam Neeson movies or even Matt Damon movies, they are just a testament to the things you've seen, done and overcome. Remember that the next time you hear some story about how God brought someone back from a coma and they had experienced Heaven and were immediately healed after they got ran over by a car. Yes, some testimonies are like that but not everyone's. God brings us through different trials and tribulations dependent upon our identity. Your testimony is as unique as you are.

One thing I love about testimonies is the power that a single testimony can have on so many lives. I am truly encouraged by other's stories and I am sure some of you have been too.

                                     

My Testimony by Marvin Sapp Normally, I don't talk about the songs I link to but this one is so inspiring. Don't just listen to it, feel it. Close your eyes and think on the words. "If you see me cry, it's just a sign that I'm still alive...in spite of calamity, He still has a plan for me". The words are so powerful they make you want to shout right out the chair. And if you're curious, there are mime dances as well as praise dances to this song that can also be viewed on YouTube.

If you're brave or just want to get something off your chest feel free to comment or let me know. We can communicate through email if you so choose.

Be blessed, not stressed.

And subscribe to this blog!!!! :D

Dating Part 2

Hello, there. Fancy seeing you again.

Well, if you haven't already please check out the first part of this post. It's called Dating. If you have, then let's get down to business (to defeat the Huns)! I left you guys with my list of must haves in a significant other as well as my list of attributes in a perfect man. I ended it by giving you the top three things that I believe are essential to any healthy relationship. Basically, neither party should abuse the other, they should have a vision but should have a job in order to support themselves until they achieve said life goal and the other party must be kind towards others because how they treat others is how they will treat you, even if you don't believe it right now.



I promised you a couple more of the essentials in every relationship and here they are:

The other person must be supportive. They should stick by you and support your dreams, encouraging to do your best and do whatever it takes to get there - as long as it's legal. A lifelong relationship can turn ugly real quick when someone decides to stop helping the other person. It can lead to misunderstandings, anger, hurt and hate. If who you are with is not supportive, it's time to move on to better things. There is no reason to stay with someone who cannot support you mentally, emotionally and spiritually.

Another thing that comes to mind is strength. Relationships require true strength to make it through all the hard times, the struggle and things of that nature. It's really to be in a relationship when everything is peaches and cream but what about the moment when things just keep going from bad to worse? You have to be able to say that you'll stick through it in the tough and rough times and actually live up to the things you say. When you are dating someone it takes a kind of strength to push you forward to the next step and it takes bravery and heart. I believe that any solid relationship needs to have this type of strength to truly make it.



Lastly, let's talk about what God says regarding relationships. My plan is to talk about beauty, respect, love, forgiveness and mercy and the importance of each of those in a life-long relationship.

Worldly beauty is completely different from godly beauty. Make sure that the person you are with is beautiful in God's eyes not just yours. Worldly beauty makes physical attributes more important than anything else. It becomes more important than personality, brains and talent. God does not see beauty in that way. Over the years I have come to realize that no matter who says I am beautiful or ugly, the only opinion is God's, you should too. The person you are with should be with you and love you because of your godly beauty and vice versa. Godly beauty is about the heart. What does that person value? Are they putting others before themselves? Are they loving, kind, wise and Spirit-filled? These are some of the things that come to the forefront when discussing Godly beauty and if you are currently dating someone, ask yourself these questions in regards to your significant other. See if you like the answers.

Respect is a necessary ingredient in any relationship. Not just respecting as how many people think of it on the surface. It goes deeper than that. In relationships one must respect the other's wishes, opinions, idiosyncrasies and beliefs. This is why it is so important to never go into a relationship with someone who believes differently than you do. Right now it may seem alright but as the relationship gets more serious you'll see how impactful belief systems are to a relationship. Then you come to a point where you are both wanting the other to change. You can't truly respect someone as they are while at the same time wishing they were someone different. TRUTH.

Next, let's talk about love. You would think that would be common sense but guess what? It isn't. Love is not the same as deep like. And I am not talking about that type of love where you're texting the other person and you say it just because you think it's the right thing to sya or because the other person says it first. In fact, if you are put into a situation where someone says they love you and you don't feel the same way, Tell Them! It'll let them know where you are at and make you feel more comfortable. Just because you say you love someone doesn't mean you actually ever will. More importantly, God wants us to love as He Himself loves. You cannot be in a lasting love with someone if you never loved them as the following first: a person, a brother/sister in Christ and a friend. It just doesn't work. Plain and simple. Period. And if you want to argue with me go right ahead, I do not mind whatsoever. In fact, I would love to see some comments, feel free to make them anonymous while you're at it.

Relationships cannot move forward if there is no forgiveness. We see this in the scriptures many time. When we hold on to something it keeps us from moving forward. It weighs it done. If the Almighty Lord has a sea of forgetfulness maybe you should consider getting one. Now, don't be stupid and let the other person run all over you but don't hold things over their head if they've asked your forgiveness. Even if the slap you across the face 77 times (Matthew 8:21-22). I feel like this is pretty simple so let's ease on down to...

....Mercy! Those who have read my blog know that I am a super huge fan of this thing called mercy. And so is God. God is extremely merciful. For those of you that are new here, welcome. Here's the definition of mercy I go by and I think it is the easiest to comprehend: Mercy is withholding something I do deserve out of His love for me. This is how God operates, He shows mercy and His mercy overcomes judgement. It should be the same in relationships, I know that this post is about dating but mercy must be a factor in every relationship in your life from friends to family to coworkers. Plus, it goes hand in hand with forgiveness. Mercy means that instead of inflicting blame or punishment even when someone deserves it ( and Lord knows a lot of people out there do).

That's my list of amazing and wonderful dating advice lol. I am no where near close to a relationship expert but now you have my opinion and can form your own.

Love, Peace, Chicken Grease.
Here's a song that I truly love: That Girl by R-Swift

Diversity in the Kingdom

Does Color Matter to God?

Yes. Not in the sense that your color will impact whether or not you make it into the kingdom but in the sense that God loves diversity. If He didn't why did He make everyone so unique? Why did He create different shades of color? Why would John still see diversity in those who had died and gone on to be with the Lord? Don't believe me? Read Revelation 7:9. If God didn't like diversity why would He make sure to keep it? And if diversity did not last even after death, how would John know that the multitude he saw came from all different nations while they were here on earth? Think about it. If you have any answers to these questions I would be glad to hear them.

God made us all unique for a person, it help shows His power and majesty. Furthermore, it shows us that no matter what someone may look like, where they are from or what language they speak God wants us to love ALL our neighbors. Not just one or two of the few we know. It's easy to love those who you know or at least are familiar with, it's a lot harder to love people who are different from you in every way. Even still, that is what God has tasked us to do. John says repeatedly in 1-3 John that as Christians we should both love and walk in truth. God is the truth. Jesus the Son is the truth. Therefore, we should walk as the triune God would have us walk and love in the same fashion. So what if they look different from you? We were all made in the image of the Creator, not just you! 

For more info see: Tony Evans, Oneness Embraced

How Can I Stay Proud of My Heritage while Repping Christ?

In Revelation 7:9 the only thing uniform was the white robes and palm branches held by the multitude. In this life, the one thing that God wants to be uniform is our love of the Father. We should be one in the fact that we love, serve and magnify Him. It's okay to be different, God made us that way. That being said, you should never have to feel like you have to get rid of your heritage or culture to serve God, as long as you don't worship other idols. If you have a certain way of dressing or speaking or even greeting others, hold on to that it is just one of the many things that make you who you are and He loves every single about it. That's why He chose to make you uniquely, beautifully, wonderfully, amazingly, you.

Much Love!

Here's a song that I think may cheer up those who didn't know what to do about heritage and Jesus before this post: Same Team Remix by Swoope

Why do I have to Change to Go to Church?

Easy answer? You don't.

Not really. A church shouldn't force you to change anything about yourself to feel accepted. The church is meant to be a place that people can come and feel God's love and Christ never turned anyone away. When you are a new Christian or are simply trying to determine if church is really where you want to be you should feel welcomed. The last goal of a church should be to isolate its members and its visitors. 

When you go to church, there are traditions but traditions do not override God's commandments. I am Black, for those who didn't know. In Black churches, the old school churches, deaconesses wear white, women wear large hats and have paper fans, tambourines and loud voices that can be heard outside the church during praise and worship. That's the type of environment I was brought up in but let me tell you something, that does not mean it is the only way to go. If the traditions of a church you attend make you uncomfortable and you don't feel like ti's a good fit, it probably isn't. Luckily, there are many churches in the world and when yous seek one you'll find one in which you can grow and get to know God.

Like I said before, isolation is the last thing a church should be doing. I just read 3 John and it made me think. Diotrephes is the perfect example of what a church should NOT be. And to be more specific, he is the epitome of a bad church leader. If you feel like the church you attend or one of those you have visited in the past is like this, RUN!!!!! He is arrogant, loud and outspoken. Diotrephes was actually turning people away from the church, y'all! Who does that???? Someone who doesn't want their authority questioned. Usually, this is because that person knows he or she is doing wrong and doesn't want an "outsider" to point it out to the rest of the congregation because it will cause him or her to lose standing and authority. This person bad mouths anyone who is not like them, they do not approve of the way others minister because it is unlike how they minister. Selfishness should not be a characteristic of a church official. The scripture says that Diotrephes loved being over others. He cared more about having the position then he did about doing good with the authority bestowed to him. When you see this in a church, watch out.

On the other hand, there is Demetrius. We only get to know him in one verse but that verse is all we need. Demetrius is how a church should be, how church leadership should act. No one had anything bad to say about him. He was of good moral character and moreover, he lived the way Christ wants us all to live. If you find that you go to a church you can be proud of, one in which the people are friendly and you feel the Spirit, then you should smile. It's a great feeling. This church doesn't turn anyone away. This church has its traditions, don't get me wrong, but it doesn't shun those who don't act on them. A church with a Demetrius as leader will allow any and all to come in. I am not saying it will be perfect, there may be some people who question your outfit or your hair or other unimportant things but the leadership never will.

The leaders set the standard for the church, when you go to a church don't go for the people. Or for the free stuff they may give out. Go because it has godly leadership. Remember, no one should force you to change just to walk into a sanctuary. If you feel compelled to afterwards, it's on you.

Now Behold the Lamb a song for my people.

Much love,
Chy