Easy answer? You don't.
Not really. A church shouldn't force you to change anything about yourself to feel accepted. The church is meant to be a place that people can come and feel God's love and Christ never turned anyone away. When you are a new Christian or are simply trying to determine if church is really where you want to be you should feel welcomed. The last goal of a church should be to isolate its members and its visitors.
When you go to church, there are traditions but traditions do not override God's commandments. I am Black, for those who didn't know. In Black churches, the old school churches, deaconesses wear white, women wear large hats and have paper fans, tambourines and loud voices that can be heard outside the church during praise and worship. That's the type of environment I was brought up in but let me tell you something, that does not mean it is the only way to go. If the traditions of a church you attend make you uncomfortable and you don't feel like ti's a good fit, it probably isn't. Luckily, there are many churches in the world and when yous seek one you'll find one in which you can grow and get to know God.
Like I said before, isolation is the last thing a church should be doing. I just read 3 John and it made me think. Diotrephes is the perfect example of what a church should NOT be. And to be more specific, he is the epitome of a bad church leader. If you feel like the church you attend or one of those you have visited in the past is like this, RUN!!!!! He is arrogant, loud and outspoken. Diotrephes was actually turning people away from the church, y'all! Who does that???? Someone who doesn't want their authority questioned. Usually, this is because that person knows he or she is doing wrong and doesn't want an "outsider" to point it out to the rest of the congregation because it will cause him or her to lose standing and authority. This person bad mouths anyone who is not like them, they do not approve of the way others minister because it is unlike how they minister. Selfishness should not be a characteristic of a church official. The scripture says that Diotrephes loved being over others. He cared more about having the position then he did about doing good with the authority bestowed to him. When you see this in a church, watch out.
On the other hand, there is Demetrius. We only get to know him in one verse but that verse is all we need. Demetrius is how a church should be, how church leadership should act. No one had anything bad to say about him. He was of good moral character and moreover, he lived the way Christ wants us all to live. If you find that you go to a church you can be proud of, one in which the people are friendly and you feel the Spirit, then you should smile. It's a great feeling. This church doesn't turn anyone away. This church has its traditions, don't get me wrong, but it doesn't shun those who don't act on them. A church with a Demetrius as leader will allow any and all to come in. I am not saying it will be perfect, there may be some people who question your outfit or your hair or other unimportant things but the leadership never will.
The leaders set the standard for the church, when you go to a church don't go for the people. Or for the free stuff they may give out. Go because it has godly leadership. Remember, no one should force you to change just to walk into a sanctuary. If you feel compelled to afterwards, it's on you.
Now Behold the Lamb a song for my people.
Much love,
Chy
Like I said before, isolation is the last thing a church should be doing. I just read 3 John and it made me think. Diotrephes is the perfect example of what a church should NOT be. And to be more specific, he is the epitome of a bad church leader. If you feel like the church you attend or one of those you have visited in the past is like this, RUN!!!!! He is arrogant, loud and outspoken. Diotrephes was actually turning people away from the church, y'all! Who does that???? Someone who doesn't want their authority questioned. Usually, this is because that person knows he or she is doing wrong and doesn't want an "outsider" to point it out to the rest of the congregation because it will cause him or her to lose standing and authority. This person bad mouths anyone who is not like them, they do not approve of the way others minister because it is unlike how they minister. Selfishness should not be a characteristic of a church official. The scripture says that Diotrephes loved being over others. He cared more about having the position then he did about doing good with the authority bestowed to him. When you see this in a church, watch out.
On the other hand, there is Demetrius. We only get to know him in one verse but that verse is all we need. Demetrius is how a church should be, how church leadership should act. No one had anything bad to say about him. He was of good moral character and moreover, he lived the way Christ wants us all to live. If you find that you go to a church you can be proud of, one in which the people are friendly and you feel the Spirit, then you should smile. It's a great feeling. This church doesn't turn anyone away. This church has its traditions, don't get me wrong, but it doesn't shun those who don't act on them. A church with a Demetrius as leader will allow any and all to come in. I am not saying it will be perfect, there may be some people who question your outfit or your hair or other unimportant things but the leadership never will.
The leaders set the standard for the church, when you go to a church don't go for the people. Or for the free stuff they may give out. Go because it has godly leadership. Remember, no one should force you to change just to walk into a sanctuary. If you feel compelled to afterwards, it's on you.
Now Behold the Lamb a song for my people.
Much love,
Chy
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