Well, if you haven't already please check out the first part of this post. It's called Dating. If you have, then let's get down to business (to defeat the Huns)! I left you guys with my list of must haves in a significant other as well as my list of attributes in a perfect man. I ended it by giving you the top three things that I believe are essential to any healthy relationship. Basically, neither party should abuse the other, they should have a vision but should have a job in order to support themselves until they achieve said life goal and the other party must be kind towards others because how they treat others is how they will treat you, even if you don't believe it right now.
I promised you a couple more of the essentials in every relationship and here they are:
The other person must be supportive. They should stick by you and support your dreams, encouraging to do your best and do whatever it takes to get there - as long as it's legal. A lifelong relationship can turn ugly real quick when someone decides to stop helping the other person. It can lead to misunderstandings, anger, hurt and hate. If who you are with is not supportive, it's time to move on to better things. There is no reason to stay with someone who cannot support you mentally, emotionally and spiritually.
Another thing that comes to mind is strength. Relationships require true strength to make it through all the hard times, the struggle and things of that nature. It's really to be in a relationship when everything is peaches and cream but what about the moment when things just keep going from bad to worse? You have to be able to say that you'll stick through it in the tough and rough times and actually live up to the things you say. When you are dating someone it takes a kind of strength to push you forward to the next step and it takes bravery and heart. I believe that any solid relationship needs to have this type of strength to truly make it.
Lastly, let's talk about what God says regarding relationships. My plan is to talk about beauty, respect, love, forgiveness and mercy and the importance of each of those in a life-long relationship.
Worldly beauty is completely different from godly beauty. Make sure that the person you are with is beautiful in God's eyes not just yours. Worldly beauty makes physical attributes more important than anything else. It becomes more important than personality, brains and talent. God does not see beauty in that way. Over the years I have come to realize that no matter who says I am beautiful or ugly, the only opinion is God's, you should too. The person you are with should be with you and love you because of your godly beauty and vice versa. Godly beauty is about the heart. What does that person value? Are they putting others before themselves? Are they loving, kind, wise and Spirit-filled? These are some of the things that come to the forefront when discussing Godly beauty and if you are currently dating someone, ask yourself these questions in regards to your significant other. See if you like the answers.
Respect is a necessary ingredient in any relationship. Not just respecting as how many people think of it on the surface. It goes deeper than that. In relationships one must respect the other's wishes, opinions, idiosyncrasies and beliefs. This is why it is so important to never go into a relationship with someone who believes differently than you do. Right now it may seem alright but as the relationship gets more serious you'll see how impactful belief systems are to a relationship. Then you come to a point where you are both wanting the other to change. You can't truly respect someone as they are while at the same time wishing they were someone different. TRUTH.
Next, let's talk about love. You would think that would be common sense but guess what? It isn't. Love is not the same as deep like. And I am not talking about that type of love where you're texting the other person and you say it just because you think it's the right thing to sya or because the other person says it first. In fact, if you are put into a situation where someone says they love you and you don't feel the same way, Tell Them! It'll let them know where you are at and make you feel more comfortable. Just because you say you love someone doesn't mean you actually ever will. More importantly, God wants us to love as He Himself loves. You cannot be in a lasting love with someone if you never loved them as the following first: a person, a brother/sister in Christ and a friend. It just doesn't work. Plain and simple. Period. And if you want to argue with me go right ahead, I do not mind whatsoever. In fact, I would love to see some comments, feel free to make them anonymous while you're at it.
Relationships cannot move forward if there is no forgiveness. We see this in the scriptures many time. When we hold on to something it keeps us from moving forward. It weighs it done. If the Almighty Lord has a sea of forgetfulness maybe you should consider getting one. Now, don't be stupid and let the other person run all over you but don't hold things over their head if they've asked your forgiveness. Even if the slap you across the face 77 times (Matthew 8:21-22). I feel like this is pretty simple so let's ease on down to...
....Mercy! Those who have read my blog know that I am a super huge fan of this thing called mercy. And so is God. God is extremely merciful. For those of you that are new here, welcome. Here's the definition of mercy I go by and I think it is the easiest to comprehend: Mercy is withholding something I do deserve out of His love for me. This is how God operates, He shows mercy and His mercy overcomes judgement. It should be the same in relationships, I know that this post is about dating but mercy must be a factor in every relationship in your life from friends to family to coworkers. Plus, it goes hand in hand with forgiveness. Mercy means that instead of inflicting blame or punishment even when someone deserves it ( and Lord knows a lot of people out there do).
That's my list of amazing and wonderful dating advice lol. I am no where near close to a relationship expert but now you have my opinion and can form your own.
Love, Peace, Chicken Grease.
Here's a song that I truly love: That Girl by R-Swift
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