Dating

Christian Dating

What the heck does that mean? I mean, I have my own values towards dating but I heard this term and was so extra confused. Personally, I don't believe in dating someone I cannot see myself marrying and I REFUSE to date people who aren't Christian, truly Christian. Of course, I have other preferences but those are the two most important criteria on my checklist. Don't assume I am an expert, far from it but I believe that I can shed some light on this subject. How? First, giving my list and even a few things off of my "The Perfect Man" checklist that aren't really requirements but would be nice. Then I am going to outline a few things that I believe to be good in any relationship. Finally, I'll take it to the Bible and see what God says about dating. If this post goes a little long, I'll make it a series. You're forewarned.

My dating criteria:

1. Christian
2. Could be a great husband
3. Responsible and Caring
4. Loves his family
5. Involved in church
6. Has a direction in life
7. Sensible but funny
8. Good steward of money and other material things
9. Sweet
10. Honest, responsible and a good communicator
11. Trustworthy eyes
12. Healthy

My Criteria for the Perfect Man

1. At least 6'2
2. Handsome
3. Either muscular or suitably fit
4. Dark Skinned (I like chocolate lol)
5. Well-paying job
6. Nice teeth
7. Long hair

As you can see, my necessities are longer than my wants and more important. Plus, they're less vain! These are the traits I look for in someone I am considering and I refuse to make any promises if someone asks me on a date. I will gladly get to know anyone but if I get to know you and don't like what I know, it's over. I am not trying to be rude, but I don't like wasting my time or my words. Jesus never said anything unnecessary, so why should I. And if you don't approve, I completely understand. What are some of the things on your list of Man Must-Haves? Or Woman Must-Haves, for that matter?

For Any Relationship...

I think that there are some obvious qualities that are integral in any relationship which is why I did not mention them in the previous lists. One of those being a significant other that is not abusive. This is not just physically, mind you. It is mental and verbal abuse. When someone in your life is making you feel like less than what you felt before, when you are sad and hurt, hoping that things will one day get better even though you know in your heart it won't, that's abuse. Sometimes, we don't even know we are being abused. At first we think the fact that they want to know where we are is them showing concern, not being possessive. Then it progresses to you slowly being cut off from those around you such as friends and family. First, it was just a casual joke when they said you were putting on weight, then you start feeling bad about yourself. You diet and exercise but it's not for you, it's for them so that they'll approve. That, too, is abuse. Some say that no one can impact your self-esteem because it is self-esteem but I know that is wrong and very much so. After a while what you hear gets in your head, you internalize it and all of a sudden there is no escape. People can change your mindset, make sure you are around those who will impact it positively.

Another quality is to be someone with a practical vision and means to get there. Dreams are great, I am not knocking them but while you are on your way to becoming a famous actor or musician, have another means of income to support yourself. There should be no such thing as a struggling artist. The person you are with should be able to support themselves. If they can't, how can you expect them to support you? Not just financially, but emotionally as well. Their mind will most likely be filled with thoughts of what they will do to make ends meet the next day and other issues. They will be emotionally unavailable for the long term even if they seem like a great candidate up front.

Thirdly, make sure you know how your potential significant other acts towards others. You can tell a lot from watching someone interact with others. How do they treat their parents? Friends? Enemies? Those they see in the street? The people they work with and go to church with? When they see something unpleasant how do they respond? One thing I suggest is that you never allow yourself to open up to someone who does not respect others because they'll show you the same disrespect, maybe not at first but later on. Don't be blinded by rose colored glasses. If you see your potential mate doing something you do not like to see others do don't think that it is just a coincidence or that you can change. People only change when they wish to, that is a fact of life and be mindful of it.

Those are my top three tips, I have a few more but while I write the next post tell me what you think about dating, any ideas can help my other readers so please share.

Here's A Song: Love Never Leaves by Tedashii