I know I write a lot on friendships but they are important so I shall continue to write! Feel free to post any questions, comments or social criticisms below.
"What about your friends, will they stand their ground? Will they let you down again? What about your friends, are they gonna be lowdown? Will they ever be around? Or will they turn their backs on you?"
The first quote is "Friends" by Whodini and the second is TLC's "What About Your Friends?". Most people have heard at least these parts of the songs and that is all that is really needed to understand this post. Actually, it really isn't, I just love both of those songs and they have been stuck in my head so, why not?
I was talking to a lady recently whose son had been in a horrible accident and she was telling me that at first, all of his friends were there helping and supporting him but in a matter of a couple weeks, no one was there. No calls or visits anymore, nothing. Isn't that just plain awful. But I guess that can happen. I told her that those people weren't really friends, they may be acquaintances, but you have to choose the people you call friend wisely. Not everyone you hang out with or talk to occasionally is your friend. That brief little chat got me thinking about all the people I have called friend in the past. Not all of them were real friends but I wanted to make it seem like I was well-liked so that is what I called them in different circles when the truth was I couldn't really stand most of them. Isn't that ridiculous?
It also made me wonder how many of those people really were friends that just lost communication for other reasons. I mean the young man is in college, there are sports, activities, events that his friends must participate in. Plus, because he cannot get around he has his mother staying with him in his dorm room, which is a bit awkward for those who are barely 19 and want to be on their own. There is also the possibility that he may be a jerk, but I have met with him and he seems to be a wonderful person but his constant procedures and medical needs keep him on a schedule that some may find it hard to fit into. My earlier post was about intentional music, this one is about intentional friendships. Some of you may be singing the well-known Travis Greene song in your head right now, and I am not mad at you for it, I just want to go deeper than that.
Above is a picture of Pon and Zi, two friends that I have loved since middle school. Back then, however, I was in a constant state of anxiety and I daresay depression and I used these images to remind me of broken relationships. It saddened me but made me happy because it felt like I wasn't the only one. Misery loves company, I guess. The creator of Pon and Zi has many sad images of the couple but many positive ones as well. (Disclaimer: I do not have any rights to them). I love this image because it is an example of what a real friendship is like. I was walking down the street with a friend I shall call M and we started singing at the top of our lungs, just random songs on our way home from helping out with a church event. It was late at night and people probably thought we were drunk but I didn't care and she didn't care because we were having fun together.
And I have another friend named F and whenever we get together we are a hot mess. Recently, she came to visit me and brought her boyfriend and I am sure he got to see a new side of her because we have always had this saying, "A friend is someone who will help you up when you fall. A best friend is someone who will push you down, laugh and then help you". Friends are the ones you can be your crazy, wonky, sarcastic self with. Friends will get all weird and fan-girl with you over the stuff your into even though it seems strange to others like anime and K-pop. Friends are always there when you need them. I mean, that is not totally true but they are there about 90% of the time. The only person who is always there is Jesus, but Jesus is our friend, right guys? ;)
I am such and tired of calling people friends who are really just colleagues or acquaintances that I won't get to know to well outside of whatever area I met them in. Just because someone is a friend of a friend does not make them mine and just because we got to the same church or watch the same shows does not make you my friend.
What makes a person qualified to be your friend?
Today's song is a classic: Robin Williams singing Friend Like Me
