Intentional Friendships

"Friends! How many of us have them? Friends! Ones we can depend on. Friends! Before we go any further let's be friends!"

I know I write a lot on friendships but they are important so I shall continue to write! Feel free to post any questions, comments or social criticisms below.

"What about your friends, will they stand their ground? Will they let you down again? What about your friends, are they gonna be lowdown? Will they ever be around? Or will they turn their backs on you?"

The first quote is "Friends" by Whodini and the second is TLC's "What About Your Friends?". Most people have heard at least these parts of the songs and that is all that is really needed to understand this post. Actually, it really isn't, I just love both of those songs and they have been stuck in my head so, why not?

I was talking to a lady recently whose son had been in a horrible accident and she was telling me that at first, all of his friends were there helping and supporting him but in a matter of a couple weeks, no one was there. No calls or visits anymore, nothing. Isn't that just plain awful. But I guess that can happen. I told her that those people weren't really friends, they may be acquaintances, but you have to choose the people you call friend wisely. Not everyone you hang out with or talk to occasionally is your friend. That brief little chat got me thinking about all the people I have called friend in the past. Not all of them were real friends but I wanted to make it seem like I was well-liked so that is what I called them in different circles when the truth was I couldn't really stand most of them. Isn't that ridiculous?

It also made me wonder how many of those people really were friends that just lost communication for other reasons. I mean the young man is in college, there are sports, activities, events that his friends must participate in. Plus, because he cannot get around he has his mother staying with him in his dorm room, which is a bit awkward for those who are barely 19 and want to be on their own. There is also the possibility that he may be a jerk, but I have met with him and he seems to be a wonderful person but his constant procedures and medical needs keep him on a schedule that some may find it hard to fit into. My earlier post was about intentional music, this one is about intentional friendships. Some of you may be singing the well-known Travis Greene song in your head right now, and I am not mad at you for it, I just want to go deeper than that.



Above is a picture of Pon and Zi, two friends that I have loved since middle school. Back then, however, I was in a constant state of anxiety and I daresay depression and I used these images to remind me of broken relationships. It saddened me but made me happy because it felt like I wasn't the only one. Misery loves company, I guess. The creator of Pon and Zi has many sad images of the couple but many positive ones as well. (Disclaimer: I do not have any rights to them). I love this image because it is an example of what a real friendship is like. I was walking down the street with a friend I shall call M and we started singing at the top of our lungs, just random songs on our way home from helping out with a church event. It was late at night and people probably thought we were drunk but I didn't care and she didn't care because we were having fun together.

And I have another friend named F and whenever we get together we are a hot mess. Recently, she came to visit me and brought her boyfriend and I am sure he got to see a new side of her because we have always had this saying, "A friend is someone who will help you up when you fall. A best friend is someone who will push you down, laugh and then help you". Friends are the ones you can be your crazy, wonky, sarcastic self with. Friends will get all weird and fan-girl with you over the stuff your into even though it seems strange to others like anime and K-pop. Friends are always there when you need them. I mean, that is not totally true but they are there about 90% of the time. The only person who is always there is Jesus, but Jesus is our friend, right guys? ;)

I am such and tired of calling people friends who are really just colleagues or acquaintances that I won't get to know to well outside of whatever area I met them in. Just because someone is a friend of a friend does not make them mine and just because we got to the same church or watch the same shows does not make you my friend.

What makes a person qualified to be your friend?

Today's song is a classic: Robin Williams singing Friend Like Me

Biblical Role Model

Hey guys,

So lately, I have been really in a slump. Not just because of the election, I feel like there's just a lot of negative stuff all compounding on my shoulders at once and for a while I didn't even have the energy to do anything. I didn't do homework, was slacking at the gym, I wasn't even cooking. I had been surviving on carrots. And now I feel like I am starting to get back in the hang of things, not because of me but because I had someone I could talk to and she helped me out a lot. That is why fellowship is so common in my posts, especially my older ones. Anyway, today I was able to get a good amount of stuff done and even though I am nowhere near close to my usual productivity level, I am slowly starting to get back in the swing of things. Yay!!!

Also, for the past few days I have been drawn to Daniel. Don't get me wrong, I have read the book of Daniel plenty of times but these last few days I feel like I have just been directed to certain sections, not even whole chapters. Examples? Daniel 9:1-19, Daniel 2:14-35, Daniel 9:20-27. If you are wondering why chapter 9 is separated it's because I read them on different days. There was a lot for me to unpack and personally I feel like there is still more I can look at in order to understand these sections of Daniel. I mean I studied them and prayed and realized that I always did love hearing about Daniel. Not because he held a powerful position or survived a lion's den but just because of his personality. A few years back the one consistent prayer that I had was that God move in my prayer life and that he make me a prayer warrior. Looking back at Daniel, especially today, I realized that is exactly what Daniel was.

Daniel is like my Biblical role model and here are the attributes I admire in him.

1. He's bold
2. He's faithful
3. He has a great prayer life
4. He's wise
5. He is slow to speak
6. He is unafraid

These are all qualities I have desired at one time or another and they are ones I still want. I don't think I should ever stop praying for these things even after I receive them because God will never give me more than what I need in that present moment. For me I get a lot of encouragement from Daniel. He is this guy who prays not just for himself but his entire people. He is not afraid of what other people will say or do to him, he is unabashedly himself and I feel that (especially in America) kids are taught not to be themselves but to be who media or who their friends want them to be. Everyone has to conform or be subject to harassment which is so uncool, right? Right. I don't need no Amens on that one. Whenever someone asked him a question he gave it serious thought and he prayed before giving a response and that is simply amazing to me. He is simply so faithful and I look up to him.

Don't get me wrong, I don't idolize him but I appreciate that God provided us with his story so that people like me could use it as a kind of blueprint for our lives. And I feel that everyone should have someone they aspire to be similar to in the Bible. Trust me, I know people are out there thinking "Jesus!" which is great, I try to be like Jesus too, but I want everyone to remember that Jesus was perfect. And although we can never be perfect in the same way He was we can better ourselves by following the lives of those in the Bible which is (in my opinion) why God allowed these stories to be passed down until today. There are lessons we can learn from every single story in the Scriptures, usually more than one and that is why I think that everyone should have someone, other than the Son of the Most High, as a role model that they can think to themselves, I am going be like this person today and be bold for the Lord by doing this or I am going to think before I speak or something along those lines. What do you think?

Plus, when you have a role model you won't fall as easy because you will have those traits in the back of your mind and you will feel convicted to do what is right. And there is also the fact that when you compare yourself to a spiritual and mature person in the faith it will keep you from wailing on yourself. There are days where I feel like Jeroboam II and then I have to reprimand myself and say, no child you are not like that at all! You are not a Jeroboam, you are a Daniel, a Ruth! It is a reminder to yourself of who you are. On that note, to remind myself of who I am, I write affirmations and repeat them throughout the day in my head or out loud depending on where I am. And they all start with "I Am" because that is how God started His affirmation. It is how He introduced Himself and therefore, since we are made in His image, it is how we must introduce ourselves. And saying it to yourself keeps it in your mind and it only takes 21 days for something to become habit which means your whole mindset can change in less than a month!

But back to spiritual role models...like I said, I am looking to Daniel for an example of how an imperfect person can have such a close relationship with God. I mean, in Daniel 9:20-22, Daniel isn't even done praying before God sends Gabriel (yes, that Gabriel)  to come and give Daniel the understanding he was asking for!! I want to be that tight with my Lord, Friend and God. You?

So who is your Biblical role model? Who do you look to when you want a blueprint for how to behave in a certain situation? I'm curious so please comment!! :D

And just as a note, don't just have role models. Be one.

The song today doesn't have anything to do with this actual post, I just like it  so here goes: No Nah by Jor'Dan Armstrong

And do you guys actually listen to the songs? I put my heart into choosing them (usually)! Much love.