Intentional Friendships

"Friends! How many of us have them? Friends! Ones we can depend on. Friends! Before we go any further let's be friends!"

I know I write a lot on friendships but they are important so I shall continue to write! Feel free to post any questions, comments or social criticisms below.

"What about your friends, will they stand their ground? Will they let you down again? What about your friends, are they gonna be lowdown? Will they ever be around? Or will they turn their backs on you?"

The first quote is "Friends" by Whodini and the second is TLC's "What About Your Friends?". Most people have heard at least these parts of the songs and that is all that is really needed to understand this post. Actually, it really isn't, I just love both of those songs and they have been stuck in my head so, why not?

I was talking to a lady recently whose son had been in a horrible accident and she was telling me that at first, all of his friends were there helping and supporting him but in a matter of a couple weeks, no one was there. No calls or visits anymore, nothing. Isn't that just plain awful. But I guess that can happen. I told her that those people weren't really friends, they may be acquaintances, but you have to choose the people you call friend wisely. Not everyone you hang out with or talk to occasionally is your friend. That brief little chat got me thinking about all the people I have called friend in the past. Not all of them were real friends but I wanted to make it seem like I was well-liked so that is what I called them in different circles when the truth was I couldn't really stand most of them. Isn't that ridiculous?

It also made me wonder how many of those people really were friends that just lost communication for other reasons. I mean the young man is in college, there are sports, activities, events that his friends must participate in. Plus, because he cannot get around he has his mother staying with him in his dorm room, which is a bit awkward for those who are barely 19 and want to be on their own. There is also the possibility that he may be a jerk, but I have met with him and he seems to be a wonderful person but his constant procedures and medical needs keep him on a schedule that some may find it hard to fit into. My earlier post was about intentional music, this one is about intentional friendships. Some of you may be singing the well-known Travis Greene song in your head right now, and I am not mad at you for it, I just want to go deeper than that.



Above is a picture of Pon and Zi, two friends that I have loved since middle school. Back then, however, I was in a constant state of anxiety and I daresay depression and I used these images to remind me of broken relationships. It saddened me but made me happy because it felt like I wasn't the only one. Misery loves company, I guess. The creator of Pon and Zi has many sad images of the couple but many positive ones as well. (Disclaimer: I do not have any rights to them). I love this image because it is an example of what a real friendship is like. I was walking down the street with a friend I shall call M and we started singing at the top of our lungs, just random songs on our way home from helping out with a church event. It was late at night and people probably thought we were drunk but I didn't care and she didn't care because we were having fun together.

And I have another friend named F and whenever we get together we are a hot mess. Recently, she came to visit me and brought her boyfriend and I am sure he got to see a new side of her because we have always had this saying, "A friend is someone who will help you up when you fall. A best friend is someone who will push you down, laugh and then help you". Friends are the ones you can be your crazy, wonky, sarcastic self with. Friends will get all weird and fan-girl with you over the stuff your into even though it seems strange to others like anime and K-pop. Friends are always there when you need them. I mean, that is not totally true but they are there about 90% of the time. The only person who is always there is Jesus, but Jesus is our friend, right guys? ;)

I am such and tired of calling people friends who are really just colleagues or acquaintances that I won't get to know to well outside of whatever area I met them in. Just because someone is a friend of a friend does not make them mine and just because we got to the same church or watch the same shows does not make you my friend.

What makes a person qualified to be your friend?

Today's song is a classic: Robin Williams singing Friend Like Me

Get Myself To Right

"I gotta get myself together, 'cause I got someplace to go. And I'm praying when I get there I'll see everyone I know. I wanna go to Heaven."

Everybody knows Mary Mary, the dynamic sister duo backed up and supported by their family. At least everybody I know anyway. Well, this song just came to mind because it reminds me of what I need to do to get myself right. And soon. I have been pretty much alone in my grad school experience, no close friends or acquaintances, no one to hold me accountable or talk to about heavy issues except God. And I know very well that I need to be going to God with my issues and situations (both good and bad) but sometimes you need other people.

Lately, I stopped.

I stopped living the way I am used to and as a result I started getting bad, for lack of a word to describe my utter uselessness. It started affecting me physically. I felt drowsy and lazy while at the same time having all this nervous energy built up inside. Plus, I want you all to know that I am not coming from a place of victory against this thing just yet but I do understand it and I do know that I will be victorious. Now, back to your regularly scheduled broadcast. I was feeling ridiculously low and all of the old stuff I thought was dead and gone in the past started trying to come back. I started having awful nightmares and waking up in pools of sweat, started overeating (and I had trouble with binging in high school), started feeling just plain awful, procrastinating with the simplest tasks and putting off anything and everything that I didn't see as urgent. And the only thing I saw as urgent was sleep.

Well recently, I realized that maybe the reason I was feeling low down and just altogether messed up is because I had stopped living the way I am used to. I have not danced since I have been here. I have not worshipped in the morning before the start of my day, I have been slacking in bible study (I still do it but the commitment is not there as it should be) and I have not really been striving after God, even though I wrote posts about it. It is one thing to say something and another thing to live it out.

And that is where I come to in this little narrative. I had stopped living for God. Like, seriously! And the worst part is how long it took me to notice but God is still good and still moving in my life. Therefore I started thinking about what it meant to live. Just live and I looked at it from a secular and a Christian perspective.

According to dictionary.com to live is just to be alive and capable of vital functions. I don't really like this definition because it means that those who are disabled are not truly living. There were two definitions I looked up in my concordance though, The Hebrew chayah and the Greek zao. The first means to keep alive, to revive, to suffer to live, nourish up, preserve, and to be whole. Zao means to live, quicken.

So, I decided to read two passages: Psalm 119:17-24 (Gimel) and Psalm 118:17.

According to Psalm 119:17, to live is to keep God's word. And according to its counterpart the chapter before living is synonymous with declaring God's works. In Psalm 119:20 David says his soul broke for longing to live righteously. How can a soul break? I don't know but I know it's more powerful than when your heart breaks. From this I got that not only can I not make it on my own but if I am not living for the Lord then I am not living at all. And I had to stop putting off my responsibilities as a Christian. I wasn't really making God a priority, much less was He the center of my life. (And for those who don't know, when I say God I mean the Triune God: Father, Son and Holy Spirit.) So instead of putting it off I have to start saying yes.

 No more silencing the King.

Well Done by Deitrick Haddon

Biblical Role Model

Hey guys,

So lately, I have been really in a slump. Not just because of the election, I feel like there's just a lot of negative stuff all compounding on my shoulders at once and for a while I didn't even have the energy to do anything. I didn't do homework, was slacking at the gym, I wasn't even cooking. I had been surviving on carrots. And now I feel like I am starting to get back in the hang of things, not because of me but because I had someone I could talk to and she helped me out a lot. That is why fellowship is so common in my posts, especially my older ones. Anyway, today I was able to get a good amount of stuff done and even though I am nowhere near close to my usual productivity level, I am slowly starting to get back in the swing of things. Yay!!!

Also, for the past few days I have been drawn to Daniel. Don't get me wrong, I have read the book of Daniel plenty of times but these last few days I feel like I have just been directed to certain sections, not even whole chapters. Examples? Daniel 9:1-19, Daniel 2:14-35, Daniel 9:20-27. If you are wondering why chapter 9 is separated it's because I read them on different days. There was a lot for me to unpack and personally I feel like there is still more I can look at in order to understand these sections of Daniel. I mean I studied them and prayed and realized that I always did love hearing about Daniel. Not because he held a powerful position or survived a lion's den but just because of his personality. A few years back the one consistent prayer that I had was that God move in my prayer life and that he make me a prayer warrior. Looking back at Daniel, especially today, I realized that is exactly what Daniel was.

Daniel is like my Biblical role model and here are the attributes I admire in him.

1. He's bold
2. He's faithful
3. He has a great prayer life
4. He's wise
5. He is slow to speak
6. He is unafraid

These are all qualities I have desired at one time or another and they are ones I still want. I don't think I should ever stop praying for these things even after I receive them because God will never give me more than what I need in that present moment. For me I get a lot of encouragement from Daniel. He is this guy who prays not just for himself but his entire people. He is not afraid of what other people will say or do to him, he is unabashedly himself and I feel that (especially in America) kids are taught not to be themselves but to be who media or who their friends want them to be. Everyone has to conform or be subject to harassment which is so uncool, right? Right. I don't need no Amens on that one. Whenever someone asked him a question he gave it serious thought and he prayed before giving a response and that is simply amazing to me. He is simply so faithful and I look up to him.

Don't get me wrong, I don't idolize him but I appreciate that God provided us with his story so that people like me could use it as a kind of blueprint for our lives. And I feel that everyone should have someone they aspire to be similar to in the Bible. Trust me, I know people are out there thinking "Jesus!" which is great, I try to be like Jesus too, but I want everyone to remember that Jesus was perfect. And although we can never be perfect in the same way He was we can better ourselves by following the lives of those in the Bible which is (in my opinion) why God allowed these stories to be passed down until today. There are lessons we can learn from every single story in the Scriptures, usually more than one and that is why I think that everyone should have someone, other than the Son of the Most High, as a role model that they can think to themselves, I am going be like this person today and be bold for the Lord by doing this or I am going to think before I speak or something along those lines. What do you think?

Plus, when you have a role model you won't fall as easy because you will have those traits in the back of your mind and you will feel convicted to do what is right. And there is also the fact that when you compare yourself to a spiritual and mature person in the faith it will keep you from wailing on yourself. There are days where I feel like Jeroboam II and then I have to reprimand myself and say, no child you are not like that at all! You are not a Jeroboam, you are a Daniel, a Ruth! It is a reminder to yourself of who you are. On that note, to remind myself of who I am, I write affirmations and repeat them throughout the day in my head or out loud depending on where I am. And they all start with "I Am" because that is how God started His affirmation. It is how He introduced Himself and therefore, since we are made in His image, it is how we must introduce ourselves. And saying it to yourself keeps it in your mind and it only takes 21 days for something to become habit which means your whole mindset can change in less than a month!

But back to spiritual role models...like I said, I am looking to Daniel for an example of how an imperfect person can have such a close relationship with God. I mean, in Daniel 9:20-22, Daniel isn't even done praying before God sends Gabriel (yes, that Gabriel)  to come and give Daniel the understanding he was asking for!! I want to be that tight with my Lord, Friend and God. You?

So who is your Biblical role model? Who do you look to when you want a blueprint for how to behave in a certain situation? I'm curious so please comment!! :D

And just as a note, don't just have role models. Be one.

The song today doesn't have anything to do with this actual post, I just like it  so here goes: No Nah by Jor'Dan Armstrong

And do you guys actually listen to the songs? I put my heart into choosing them (usually)! Much love.

Seeking God

So, I have been thinking about the whole idea of the word "seek" for a few weeks and yesterday God gave me the understanding I needed. So below is what I learned yesterday on seeking and this morning on calling. The parentheses come from the Strong's reference number if you want to look it up. For those who know Hebrew and Greek, I apologize but I have no idea how to make accents on this thing.

Seek (1875)
Hebrew- darash: to tread; frequent; follow; pursue; search out; to diligently inquire
Seek (1245)
Hebrew-baqash: to search out (in worship and prayer); to strive after; to ask/beseech/ beg/enquire; to make inquisition; to require

These two words are intentional. They both mean "seek" bit tjere are other words with the same meaning that sound reactional not proactive like these two. God wants us to diligently inquire after Him and search Him out. This means we must go to Him in praise, worship and prayer, striving after a relationship with Him. Baqash means to ask and to beg. We must need God and His love, mercy and grace. It can't just be a fleeting want. I have to be desperate for one on one time with my Lord. In Isaiah 55:6 it is darash meaning to follow and search out. I think this is interesting because yes, there are times where we must wait on the Lord but there are other times we have to move and get up and Seek His face. Darash is also a very vocalized thing, it isn't seeking primarily in prayer and worship like baqash, it is real life calling out for God. It's like a real intense game of man hunt.

Isaiah 55:6
"Seek ye the LORD while he may be found, call ye upon him while he is near:"

Does this verse mean that God is hiding from us? Or does He just want to see if His children love Him enough to seek His face when He's not standing right beside them catering to their every need? Isaiah tells us to seek Him and call upon Him, both very intentional. This entire year the theme I keep going back to is intentionality. God is intentional and as we are made in His likeness we should also be intentional. This weans we can't be reactive, Don't just wait for issues and situations to come up in your life and react by reaching out to God. Seek God first (proactively) so that when those issues come up you're not even stressed because you've spent enough time with God to know He's going to take care of everything.

Seek and Call!

There's a song and some of the lyrics are "call out His name, (Jesus), and He will run to you". That's what I'm reminded of here. If you are truly purposeful in your pursuit of God, He won't walk to answer you, He'll run. That's just who He is and how much He loves to hear us calling on Him and wanting to know Him.

Now that I meditate on it I think that the reason David was a man after God's own heart was because He truly yearned to know the Lord and have a personal relationship with Him. He was always intentional about His faith and because of that His heart was in a good place even though he messed up and sinned big time.

One of the definitions of barash is to tread. I think that, in context, this means treading in the Lord's footsteps. Following Him wherever He goes. In real life having someone always behind you would be annoying and creepy but that is something God wants us to do with Him. If we're to be His sheep we must follow Him. This is something I'm going to pray on and look at more thoroughly in the next few weeks.

Call (7121)
Hebrew- qara: to call out to; address by name; to cry unto
Call (2753)
Greek- keievo: to hail, to bid

Isaiah 58:9
Call upon the Lord and He'll answer, cry unto Him and He'll be there.

Cry (7768)
Hebrew- shava': to shout; halloo for help or freedom

Isaiah 58
We must be wary of our spiritual lethargy.
Lethargy- the state of being drowsy/dull/ listless/ unenergetic or indifferent and lazy; apathetic/sluggish inactivity.

Isaiah 58:1-3
The people don't even realize they are spiritually lethargic. God has to ask Isaiah to show it to them. The thing to note here is that the people were still performing religious acts, doing the rituals set out in the Torah (the first five books) but they really were only going through the motions. I think this is important because going through the motions i.e. attending services, giving to the poor, does not mean anything if your heart is not where it should be. Lethargy is the state of being unenergetic. Spiritual lethargy is the same thing in regards to faith. A spiritually lethargic person is not, necessarily, someone who has no presence in the church. A spiritually lethargic person is one who does not truly seek God's will. (It's amazing how everything in the Bible relates to something else.) The people Isaiah is asked to minister to perform tons of religious acts but they do it for themselves, not God's glory. They are even so proud as to get upset with God for not noting their acts, their performance.

Lethargy is the complete opposite of intentionality. A lethargic person doesn't call out to God, they are reactive if they are active at all. They are completely indifferent about the state of their relationship with God. One thing I want to note is that this is a state of being, it isn't permanent. Lethargy is like complacency in whatever spiritual position you're in, not yearning to grow or mature. Because it is only a state of being anyone can fall into it and many don't realize they do, like the Israelites. That's why it's important to have Christ-like people around you, not just in your circle but your circle as a whole. They'll be there to notice your lethargy and pull you out of it. It shouldn't take a revival or some famous preacher or a conference for us to to want to build our relationship with God. There are times we don't realize we're stagnant and that's why we must try our hardest to seek God and be intentional about our faith!