Question: Are you actually ready to date?
One thing that I didn't really touch on too much in the earlier posts in this series is whether or not someone is actually prepared to be in a committed relationship with another person. A whole lot of people think they are just because they want to be in a relationship but that's not right. You may want a lot of things but that doesn't mean you're ready for them. That's something that I, as a Christian, know for a fact. Abraham and Sarah wanted a child and even though they had a promise from God they decided to take it into their own hands because they wanted a child. And because of that generations of hostility were created between the children of brothers Isaac and Ishmael. They wanted a child and guess what? That child they had spent his life hating their other descendants. Short story: just because you want something doesn't mean you need it.
That being said, below are some questions you should take a look at. Seriously think about the question before you move on to the next one. If you want, answer them on a sheet of paper and post it on a wall somewhere. Whatever makes you clever. I did not create these questions and won't take credit for them but they did make me stop and think. I was like "Woah!" and I realized I was not ready to walk into a relationship and if I got into one, it probably wouldn't have lasted long.
- Do I know who I am?
- Do I know how to communicate?
- Do I know what boundaries are and how to keep them?
- Do I have a vision for my own life?
- Do I have community in my life?
- What does my walk with Jesus look like?
- Am I teachable? Can I receive feedback?
- Am I responsible and do I know how to take care of things?
- Do I know how to serve?
- Do I honor people?
- Do I know how to forgive people and ask for forgiveness?
Answer these questions. Can you honestly answer them in the affirmative? Think about it. Until you can answer all of them you probably aren't ready for a relationship.
These questions are courtesy of Pastor Antoine Ashley from Deland Lighthouse Church.
I have always believed that you can't give another person something you don't have. If you try then you're lying to that person and yourself. We can't try and make people complete us. We need to be complete before we start a relationship. Your significant other should never complete you. They should complement you. And I stand by that wholeheartedly. Another thing is that you should never go into a relationship with less than 100% because it can lead to all kinds of issues. You become somebody's project. And it might hurt to ask yourself this but, are you a renovation? And the thing is, with people a new coat of paint won't do much. You have to be a full renovation. Demolition, asbestos removal, you name it. That is a project you need to undertake by yourself (with God) so that your significant other doesn't waste money, time and effort on a home that ain't worth nothing. And I'm sure none of you want to waste time either, right. So save yourself the hassle, the pain and the arguments by making sure you are whole before you try and find that person who can complement your life completely.
If you do decide to go into a relationship make sure it's a healthy one.
Blessings,
Chy
No comments:
Post a Comment