Biblical Role Model

Hey guys,

So lately, I have been really in a slump. Not just because of the election, I feel like there's just a lot of negative stuff all compounding on my shoulders at once and for a while I didn't even have the energy to do anything. I didn't do homework, was slacking at the gym, I wasn't even cooking. I had been surviving on carrots. And now I feel like I am starting to get back in the hang of things, not because of me but because I had someone I could talk to and she helped me out a lot. That is why fellowship is so common in my posts, especially my older ones. Anyway, today I was able to get a good amount of stuff done and even though I am nowhere near close to my usual productivity level, I am slowly starting to get back in the swing of things. Yay!!!

Also, for the past few days I have been drawn to Daniel. Don't get me wrong, I have read the book of Daniel plenty of times but these last few days I feel like I have just been directed to certain sections, not even whole chapters. Examples? Daniel 9:1-19, Daniel 2:14-35, Daniel 9:20-27. If you are wondering why chapter 9 is separated it's because I read them on different days. There was a lot for me to unpack and personally I feel like there is still more I can look at in order to understand these sections of Daniel. I mean I studied them and prayed and realized that I always did love hearing about Daniel. Not because he held a powerful position or survived a lion's den but just because of his personality. A few years back the one consistent prayer that I had was that God move in my prayer life and that he make me a prayer warrior. Looking back at Daniel, especially today, I realized that is exactly what Daniel was.

Daniel is like my Biblical role model and here are the attributes I admire in him.

1. He's bold
2. He's faithful
3. He has a great prayer life
4. He's wise
5. He is slow to speak
6. He is unafraid

These are all qualities I have desired at one time or another and they are ones I still want. I don't think I should ever stop praying for these things even after I receive them because God will never give me more than what I need in that present moment. For me I get a lot of encouragement from Daniel. He is this guy who prays not just for himself but his entire people. He is not afraid of what other people will say or do to him, he is unabashedly himself and I feel that (especially in America) kids are taught not to be themselves but to be who media or who their friends want them to be. Everyone has to conform or be subject to harassment which is so uncool, right? Right. I don't need no Amens on that one. Whenever someone asked him a question he gave it serious thought and he prayed before giving a response and that is simply amazing to me. He is simply so faithful and I look up to him.

Don't get me wrong, I don't idolize him but I appreciate that God provided us with his story so that people like me could use it as a kind of blueprint for our lives. And I feel that everyone should have someone they aspire to be similar to in the Bible. Trust me, I know people are out there thinking "Jesus!" which is great, I try to be like Jesus too, but I want everyone to remember that Jesus was perfect. And although we can never be perfect in the same way He was we can better ourselves by following the lives of those in the Bible which is (in my opinion) why God allowed these stories to be passed down until today. There are lessons we can learn from every single story in the Scriptures, usually more than one and that is why I think that everyone should have someone, other than the Son of the Most High, as a role model that they can think to themselves, I am going be like this person today and be bold for the Lord by doing this or I am going to think before I speak or something along those lines. What do you think?

Plus, when you have a role model you won't fall as easy because you will have those traits in the back of your mind and you will feel convicted to do what is right. And there is also the fact that when you compare yourself to a spiritual and mature person in the faith it will keep you from wailing on yourself. There are days where I feel like Jeroboam II and then I have to reprimand myself and say, no child you are not like that at all! You are not a Jeroboam, you are a Daniel, a Ruth! It is a reminder to yourself of who you are. On that note, to remind myself of who I am, I write affirmations and repeat them throughout the day in my head or out loud depending on where I am. And they all start with "I Am" because that is how God started His affirmation. It is how He introduced Himself and therefore, since we are made in His image, it is how we must introduce ourselves. And saying it to yourself keeps it in your mind and it only takes 21 days for something to become habit which means your whole mindset can change in less than a month!

But back to spiritual role models...like I said, I am looking to Daniel for an example of how an imperfect person can have such a close relationship with God. I mean, in Daniel 9:20-22, Daniel isn't even done praying before God sends Gabriel (yes, that Gabriel)  to come and give Daniel the understanding he was asking for!! I want to be that tight with my Lord, Friend and God. You?

So who is your Biblical role model? Who do you look to when you want a blueprint for how to behave in a certain situation? I'm curious so please comment!! :D

And just as a note, don't just have role models. Be one.

The song today doesn't have anything to do with this actual post, I just like it  so here goes: No Nah by Jor'Dan Armstrong

And do you guys actually listen to the songs? I put my heart into choosing them (usually)! Much love.

Apology

I am sorry for not getting to posting lately. You guys know I try to do it once a week but Grad life has got me more tired than I originally thought it would. I am either working or in class or working on something for class. There are no amount of memes that could do it justice. But while I'm on that can we talk a bit on apologies?

There are so many memes and songs out there there is even #sorrynotsorry that has been going around for forever and a day. I have talked about forgiveness a lot in the past but I can't recall a time where I ever brought up how to act when you are the one who did wrong, which is just as important and even more so in some respects. Sorry is a lot more than just trying to appease the other person and a real apology goes a lot farther than simple lip service. Think about it. How many times have you said sorry but didn't really feel sorry or apologetic? How many times did someone say sorry to you in that same stank-face way they offended you? You know they're not sorry and yet you are supposed to accept their apology!? What? How many times have you done that to someone else?

Don't get me wrong, we all do stupid stuff but apologizing is important because in its real form an apology is supposed to wipe the slate clean of than wrong you did. When you apologize you can't be rude and sarcastic. In fact, you should never say "I'm sorry" unless you mean it. Why? Because people can almost always tell when you don't and when that person can see you are lying they start to lose trust that has been built. This can lead to a whole other set of issues that are way too detailed to go into here but if you want just comment and I can give an example or two. When you apologize there are some things to take into consideration. I know that your parents probably forced you to apologize even when you weren't sorry but did something wrong. I'm not saying that's bad because it teaches kids responsibility but as an adult you should never do that.

I usually give a little how to or something like that and it is killing me not to right a long checklist of the dos and don'ts of apology but it is not necessary. You know when when you mess up. You know when you do wrong and you know when you are genuinely sorry. So take all those things into consideration when you decide to go up and apologize to someone.

An apology should be sincere if nothing else.

When you apologize you don't have to have balloons or jump out of an airplane. I know that some people believe that the size of the apology should fit the harm done but that's not me. I think that you should come with an open heart and mind and be sincere and if they don't accept that is on them. One thing about admitting you were wrong is the fact that you admit you were wrong meaning that some damage may be done to your pride. Can you handle that? Is the relationship with that person more important than your ego? If not then you aren't ready to apologize.

I have apologized for a lot of things in my life. Sometimes I apologize for other people and sometimes I apologize for things I didn't do just to make other people feel better. That is not okay. It is not okay to do that because when something is not my fault I have no reason to take blame and responsibility for it. I can say, "Sorry you feel that way" but I am not going to let the brunt of the hurt fall on my shoulders because that is not how I operate anymore. And I have a saying, "God did not send His Son to die on the third day and rise again for _________" and in my mind I am starting to fill in that blank with "me to be sorry for living my life". If someone makes you feel as though you have to apologize for everything you do because it offends them or doesn't suit them, don't keep apologizing. Find a new friend because there is a time when giving advice becomes policing your behavior and that's not cool. Especially if that friend never apologizes or throws blame on someone else when the time comes, drop them like a hot pot of grits. They are not there for you.

An apology should come from you heart. You should apologize because you want to and because it is how you really feel not because someone thinks you should because that leaves you with hurt in your heart and I have really started thinking about self care and apologizing for no reason is not a part of self care.

Zootopia: Stigma and Prejudice

 

Hey guys,

Have you all seen the movie Zootopia? It's fairly new and just came out on Netflix so I suggest you watch it before and/or after you read this post. I don't think I've ever talked about a movie before but I am going to today because this movie is extremely interesting and has a lot of hidden meaning, like children's movies did back in the 80s and 90s. First things first, the animation was great and the characters were great and the movie really had a deep message that relates to the society we're living in today. What do I mean by this? Well, I'm glad you asked.

1.) Officer Judy Hopps is a rabbit who has big dreams and everyone (even her parents) tell her that she can't do it because she is a rabbit. Similarly, in today's society many people are told that they can't live out their dreams because of race, gender, religion and socio-economic status. This is just wrong and Judy proves to everyone that with enough hard work anyone can live their dreams, even if other mammals still do not believe in her after she gets her badge.

2.) Nick Wilde is a fox and because of his heritage people ostracize him and categorize him. He can't help his species (race) but he is consistently judged by it.

3.) Because of the stigma he faces Nick decides that he won't show emotion anymore, that he won't let anyone see the pain he feels. He also decides that "if the world is only going to see a fox as shifty and untrustworthy, there's no point in trying to be anything else". Isn't that deep!!!!

4.) People easily begin to distrust predators because of one person (or bunny) and that distrust turns into hate and resentment. This shows how just one person can really change the climate of a society. People who were once friends with predators now ignore them or don't let their children near them. One person's words had such a huge and negative impact.

These are just four of the ways I think Zootopia looks at the racial, gender, ethnic and other stigmas that pervade our world today. The fact that Disney chose to include these things in an animated movie is amazing because this is a movie that teaches the youth something.

Seeking God

So, I have been thinking about the whole idea of the word "seek" for a few weeks and yesterday God gave me the understanding I needed. So below is what I learned yesterday on seeking and this morning on calling. The parentheses come from the Strong's reference number if you want to look it up. For those who know Hebrew and Greek, I apologize but I have no idea how to make accents on this thing.

Seek (1875)
Hebrew- darash: to tread; frequent; follow; pursue; search out; to diligently inquire
Seek (1245)
Hebrew-baqash: to search out (in worship and prayer); to strive after; to ask/beseech/ beg/enquire; to make inquisition; to require

These two words are intentional. They both mean "seek" bit tjere are other words with the same meaning that sound reactional not proactive like these two. God wants us to diligently inquire after Him and search Him out. This means we must go to Him in praise, worship and prayer, striving after a relationship with Him. Baqash means to ask and to beg. We must need God and His love, mercy and grace. It can't just be a fleeting want. I have to be desperate for one on one time with my Lord. In Isaiah 55:6 it is darash meaning to follow and search out. I think this is interesting because yes, there are times where we must wait on the Lord but there are other times we have to move and get up and Seek His face. Darash is also a very vocalized thing, it isn't seeking primarily in prayer and worship like baqash, it is real life calling out for God. It's like a real intense game of man hunt.

Isaiah 55:6
"Seek ye the LORD while he may be found, call ye upon him while he is near:"

Does this verse mean that God is hiding from us? Or does He just want to see if His children love Him enough to seek His face when He's not standing right beside them catering to their every need? Isaiah tells us to seek Him and call upon Him, both very intentional. This entire year the theme I keep going back to is intentionality. God is intentional and as we are made in His likeness we should also be intentional. This weans we can't be reactive, Don't just wait for issues and situations to come up in your life and react by reaching out to God. Seek God first (proactively) so that when those issues come up you're not even stressed because you've spent enough time with God to know He's going to take care of everything.

Seek and Call!

There's a song and some of the lyrics are "call out His name, (Jesus), and He will run to you". That's what I'm reminded of here. If you are truly purposeful in your pursuit of God, He won't walk to answer you, He'll run. That's just who He is and how much He loves to hear us calling on Him and wanting to know Him.

Now that I meditate on it I think that the reason David was a man after God's own heart was because He truly yearned to know the Lord and have a personal relationship with Him. He was always intentional about His faith and because of that His heart was in a good place even though he messed up and sinned big time.

One of the definitions of barash is to tread. I think that, in context, this means treading in the Lord's footsteps. Following Him wherever He goes. In real life having someone always behind you would be annoying and creepy but that is something God wants us to do with Him. If we're to be His sheep we must follow Him. This is something I'm going to pray on and look at more thoroughly in the next few weeks.

Call (7121)
Hebrew- qara: to call out to; address by name; to cry unto
Call (2753)
Greek- keievo: to hail, to bid

Isaiah 58:9
Call upon the Lord and He'll answer, cry unto Him and He'll be there.

Cry (7768)
Hebrew- shava': to shout; halloo for help or freedom

Isaiah 58
We must be wary of our spiritual lethargy.
Lethargy- the state of being drowsy/dull/ listless/ unenergetic or indifferent and lazy; apathetic/sluggish inactivity.

Isaiah 58:1-3
The people don't even realize they are spiritually lethargic. God has to ask Isaiah to show it to them. The thing to note here is that the people were still performing religious acts, doing the rituals set out in the Torah (the first five books) but they really were only going through the motions. I think this is important because going through the motions i.e. attending services, giving to the poor, does not mean anything if your heart is not where it should be. Lethargy is the state of being unenergetic. Spiritual lethargy is the same thing in regards to faith. A spiritually lethargic person is not, necessarily, someone who has no presence in the church. A spiritually lethargic person is one who does not truly seek God's will. (It's amazing how everything in the Bible relates to something else.) The people Isaiah is asked to minister to perform tons of religious acts but they do it for themselves, not God's glory. They are even so proud as to get upset with God for not noting their acts, their performance.

Lethargy is the complete opposite of intentionality. A lethargic person doesn't call out to God, they are reactive if they are active at all. They are completely indifferent about the state of their relationship with God. One thing I want to note is that this is a state of being, it isn't permanent. Lethargy is like complacency in whatever spiritual position you're in, not yearning to grow or mature. Because it is only a state of being anyone can fall into it and many don't realize they do, like the Israelites. That's why it's important to have Christ-like people around you, not just in your circle but your circle as a whole. They'll be there to notice your lethargy and pull you out of it. It shouldn't take a revival or some famous preacher or a conference for us to to want to build our relationship with God. There are times we don't realize we're stagnant and that's why we must try our hardest to seek God and be intentional about our faith!

The Hustle In Me

Trying to grind my way up

This isn't going to be a long post where I talk about my innermost feelings in detail but there is something I want you people out there to know. I can't do anything by myself. And when I try I usually end up making things worse then they were when I started out. I think that I can do it on my own and figure things out for myself. I am an independent woman, I don't need anyone's help! And then it is like walking up the down escalator or climbing a wet metal slide in the summer. Pointless and painful.

And then it's like when you do something our mom specifically told you not to do and end up getting hurt and says. "See, I told you what would happen. Ain't no point in crying now, that's what you get." The cool thing is that even though I know I deserved it for being an idiot and God knows, He'll never be like, "I told you so." Isn't God amaze-balls? Yes, I said amaze-balls. Get over it. God doesn't hold our failures over our heads, he picks us back up and tells us that if we focus our energy and attention on Him we don't have to keep falling into traps along the wayside. All He wants us to do is pay attention to Him and isn't that what we should be doing anyway? No shade, because we all do it, but I want to be 100% real with everyone out there. I don't do it all the time but I should and it's going to take some time but I'm willing to put in the work.

Psalm 121:1-2
"I will lift up mine eyes unto the hills, from whence cometh my help. (2) My help cometh from the LORD, which made heaven and earth."

If we know where our help comes from why don't we focus on that instead of our problems? How many people out there have heard these two verses but had no idea where they came from? Hebrews 12:1-2 talks about the race we all have to run. We have to lay aside the weights and the sin that keep us from having faith in God and what He has said. We do this by gaining endurance in our faith, by living it out everyday. When you practice having faith, soon you won't have to practice it anymore and you can run the race with your eyes on the Godhead instead of turning to every distraction that pops up.

 Sometimes you hear things over and over and begin to get desensitized to it but never allow yourself to stop taking the Word seriously. It is our instruction manual for life and without it would be like putting together a German IKEA table with no help. And I cannot even imagine doing that.

I don't have to struggle and work to do things all on my own, I have God and an army of angels supporting me. I have a direct line to the Creator when I am in need or want to talk. I have so much support there is no reason for me to do things on my own. Even though I feel like sometimes God is taking too long or isn't following my directions specifically. Focus on God and depend on Him for all your needs even if your inner hustle is telling you you can do it on your own.

Remember this:


Faith doesn't make things easy but it does make them possible and when we have enough faith to stay focused on Him, when we believe in the authority of the Lord it changes us. Ask yourself this question: Am I crazy enough to believe Him? Are you? If you are you won't keep thinking that you can do it on your own or that you can do it better than God. I know that at times I'm so focused on my hustle that I don't give my God the attention and time He deserves. And you can't have a relationship with someone if you never spend time with them. So I will continue to work on my faith and focus on the Lord who wants us to praise like it is already done.

This is the song of the day: Focus by Jor'dan Armstrong

If you have anything you want me to talk about feel free to comment and let me know. I am all for suggestions.

Forgiving Myself

The Bible says to forgive people. I've talked about it, those who have read a few of my posts know all the mess I have lived through and conquered. I seem to be able to forgive everyone, except myself. We all go through it, and if not let me live with my delusion. I've gone through some hard times but I was brought up to have tough skin, even if was not on purpose. Times got hard, things got rough, you got shoved and tossed around and sometimes you did the shoving but not often. In fact, rarely and it made you feel awful. You get played like a fool almost everyday of your life and people keep telling you to forgive and forget. And then they want to say to treat others as you want to be treated well, here is where I talk about my common experiences with those two maxims.

Forgive and forget is ridiculous. It is important, nay imperative, to forgive others especially if you want to be forgiven however forgetting is stupid. Why? Because if you forget how you were hurt, misled or deceived in the past you cannot use that new knowledge to guide you through your future. In fact, you'll just keep making the same mistakes over and over again, expecting to get a new outcome and we all know that that's the definition of insanity, right? So, I am all for forgiving those who do you wrong from the person that shoves you on Black Friday to the person who mugs you or abuses you (in any way). We need to forgive others not for them but for ourselves. How can we expect to be forgiven if we do not forgive? Plus, we've been forgiven and we should show the same courtesy. But forgetting is a trap that will lead you into a downward spiral and you'll wonder why the same things keep happening, why you keep getting hurt and it is, in part, your fault because you did not guard your heart like the Bible tells us to.(Proverbs 4:23)

And on to the next thing, The Golden Rule. We are told again and again to treat others as you wish to be treated. I do not disagree with this sentiment and it shows up time and time again in our guidebook for life. (Matthew 7:12) We must treat others with respect, kindness and love no matter what. All I am trying to say is that no matter how often I do this to those who wish me harm, it never works out well. Actually, let me stop lying, it doesn't usually work out well which is why I have developed such a tough elephant skin, I guess. I have been hurt repeatedly, I have felt sorrow and there are times when I feel as though God has picked me out specifically for trials and tribulations. People usually take kindness for weakness and that is not okay. Everyone has a different way to deal with this, some put up with it and some strike back. I try to put up with it and not let it get me down because in the back of my mind I know that that person will get whatever is coming to him. Recently, I've been studying 1 Peter and in chapter 4 it states that a believer will barely pass judgement and so I am trying to do everything I can to make my Father proud of me and sometimes that means bearing with it when the punches come. It also means that I have to stop being petty and passive aggressive, two things I became very good at while I was in the world.



Now going back to forgiveness. I have done things I am not proud of. I have been on the receiving end of these things too and I have the tendency to blame myself for whatever befalls me. No matter what happens, it has always been my fault. Even if I'm a thousand miles away from the situation, if it happens to someone I know it's because I didn't talk to them enough or love them enough or try and guide them to Christ as I should have. Now that I think about it, it's like I am trying to make everything about me. I have never thought of it in that way before but I can see things in front of myself, unlike many. I truly admire the quote above. I have always been at war with myself. Sometimes I feel like there are two versions of me, the one I show and the one I keep locked away, the real me. But in all honesty, they are both me whether I like it or not and instead of fighting myself and feeling awful all of the time I have to learn to put my mistakes in the past where they belong and keep it moving.

Don't get it twisted, this does not mean I lock my past into a closet and bolt the door hoping that nothing will slip out and rear it's ugly head. But I did do that in the past. It means understanding that there is a closet, looking into it, no matter how afraid you are of what you might find and dealing with every single issue one at a time. Heartache, pain, lies, guilt, regret, anger. Every single negative thought that has kept me up or dragged me down to a place I didn't want to be. By locking that closet I was living in fear, I was afraid that someone would bring up something or that I would look at the bolted door one day and find it open, like in some horror film. Now, those things aren't in that closet and after dealing with them, they've all but gone away. I am not going to say that my problems disappeared in a cloud of smoke but they did shrink to a manageable size and that's a blessing in and of itself. They aren't hanging over my head, filling me with dread. And the only reason they still exist is because they happened. They do not have control of me because I have realized that I have been forgiven for all the lies I've told and every wrong thing I have ever done. Isn't that cool :D? Anyway, I just wanted to let you guys know that forgiveness isn't a one time thing. It's a process and just as you will have to continuusly forgive those that have wronged you, you'll have to forgive yourself because you will mess up from time to time. No one is perfect and we must be able to live with ourselves in that and try our hardest to mimic our Messiah who is perfect. This means there will be sufferings but those are just signs of blessings to come, never forget that.

God loves you! If you ask He will guide you so that you can be saved from your own self-loathing. Or whatever you are dealing with. What good parent would want to see their child suffer? None. And the same is true with the Lord. So please take just one minute and ask God for the strength to forgive yourself. Cling to Him and He'll respond in turn.

The song for today is :Forgive You Much by Deraj

Be blessed!

Imago Dei

When I look in the mirror what do I see?

First of all, I just got used to looking in the mirror. But that's just me and my personal battle, that I've overcome. Jonathan McReynolds has a song called Lovin' Me. One of the lines says "when I look in the mirror and don't like what I see, You keep lovin' me". Isn't that powerful? Sometimes I don't like what I see in the mirror. It can be that I just look a hot mess or that I have done something I am not proud of and see the shame and regret on my face. The Bible discusses abiding in Christ as He abides in you. (John 15:4-7) We are His temple, correct? Yet God cannot live in an unholy place so is it time to do some spring cleaning in your temple? I am not throwing shade, I just want to pose a question to those who read this blog. Imago Dei, the image of God. Let's go back to the beginning: Genesis 1:26-27.

"And God said, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness: and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth. (27) So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them."

This comes from the King James Version because I'm old school like that. For any confusion that might ensue, when it says "our" it is God talking to himself and since He is triune  (three in one) it is plural not singular. God created man in his own image. Therefore we should look like God. When we stare at the mirror brushing our teeth, doing our hair, putting in contacts, we should not only see ourselves but see Him in the reflection. Remember Mulan? Well, when will your reflection show who you have inside? What I love about the term "Imago Dei" is that it means that no matter what we look like on the outside we should all look like Him on the inside. There is no set group of people that look more like God than any other. It's only equality in Jesus Christ and if anyone tells you different you need to quote Jesus and say "Get thee behind me Satan!" We all look like God, which goes back to my old post about diversity in the Kingdom. I feel like that is an encouragement that you should take with you and if it helps, repeat it on the daily. Remember who He made you to be. He loved you so much that He made you, specifically, to look like Him. 

Personally, I see me but do I see Him within me? Not always. And that is not good at all. Because I can't be holy sometimes. Hate cannot live in the same place as love. As I said, God cannot abide in someone who is living in sin. Before I go on let me clarify something, living in sin means continuing to sin with no remorse. It does not mean slipping every now and again. We are all human, we all sin sometimes. Anyway, God cannot live in those who live in sin and so we have to clean our house like Isaac Carree. So I need all of you to declare:

I can't focus on the past and all my shortcomings in it, I have to move on and look to the future!

Moving Forward- Israel Houghton

How can we, as Christ-followers work to see Him in our reflection?

This is not an easy question to answer and if you have any suggestions feel free to comment below! I have been praying and asking God how I can make sure that He is proud of me and the answer came to me in a short sermon by Tony Evans in his "Watch Your Mouth" series. I was watching part 3 of the series this morning and it was like God opened up the clouds and a ray of sunshine fell on me. He said that our words and thoughts can either make God happy or it can frustrate Him. The Israelites complained because they didn't get what they wanted although they had what they needed. Ouch! I will be the first to say that sometimes I complain because things don't go exactly the way I want them to, forgetting to be grateful for the things I have. Clothes, a home, food, and a relationship with God. Psalm 19:14 is a scripture we are all familiar with.

But maybe it's time to stop repeating and praying this scripture mindlessly and truly believe in the things you are saying. Pray for it earnestly. Ask God to change your heart so that your words and your thoughts reflect Him! Instead of using your words to harm others or yourself, use them to encourage others. Our speech reflects the state of out hearts (Matther 12:35-37). God is going to bring every single idle or hurtful word to our remembrance when we pass away. He is going to play back everything we have ever said, will it make Him proud? Do you believe that your words will make Him proud to call you His child? I know it's hard, it is something I will have to work on but this is one way I think I can reflect God when I look in the mirror. What do you think?

Well Done by Deitrick Haddon