Testimony

Let's Get Real...Again

I have already shared a little about myself. I try to not get too personal but sometimes its necessary. I am not quite sure how deep this post is going to get but I just want someone to understand what I am trying to say. I want someone out there who's reading this, whether in the US, Egypt or Russia to at least try and attempt to see where I am coming from when I say that I love hearing testimonies even though giving my own is quite rough.

It's amazing to see what other people have gone through, what they have lived through. Sometimes, I sit back and think, "Wow, I would've given up" or "I never could've survived". I get so awe struck at the things people have experienced. The amazing thing is that everyone reacts to a situation differently and maybe that same person would've lost hope if they would have walked in my shoes. I am so glad that I personally made it through.

I came from what looked to be a pretty good household. My mother rented a nice apartment so that from the outside we looked wealthy. Nobody knew that she was struggling to put food on the table. My parents are married, which is more rare nowadays then ever before. Nobody knew that my dad was in jail or drunk or high most of my childhood. There were mixed signals coming from everywhere. There was hurt and pain. Physical. Mental. Emotional. I can't even count all the times I wanted to take my life or the lives of those who hurt me. (This is when someone in the audience shouts, "But God!!!"). Honestly, I didn't know what it was at the time. Trust me, I tried to take my life but I never succeeded. At first, I couldn't stop thinking, "I'm such a failure I can't even kill myself right" now looking back on it I realize that God is the one who stopped me from doing it. Anyway, this is supposed to be about more than just me and what I have to say. It's about the power of testimony.

In the Bible we see how amazing testimonies can truly be. We are healed by our testimonies and so are others. Isn't that amazing?! Those who are going through something similar to what you experienced can find encouragement in your words. It can give others hope that God will deliver them and set them upon a rock just as He did with you (Psalm 40:2). It reminds them that God has never once forgotten them and even when they seem alone, a hand is reaching down to pull them out of the mess they're end.

Another cool thing is that once you get over the initial fear of being mocked and ridiculed, once you have shared at least once, giving your testimony begins to get easier and easier. In Acts 4:20 it talks about how God's people couldn't stop giving their testimony.

Random Interlude: No testimony is more important than another! Not everyone was a drug addict or a soldier or some other testimony that we think may sound more righteous and cool amongst our peers. Your testimony is meant to remind you of what you went through so that you can help others who are going through the same thing. Testimonies aren't supposed to be like Liam Neeson movies or even Matt Damon movies, they are just a testament to the things you've seen, done and overcome. Remember that the next time you hear some story about how God brought someone back from a coma and they had experienced Heaven and were immediately healed after they got ran over by a car. Yes, some testimonies are like that but not everyone's. God brings us through different trials and tribulations dependent upon our identity. Your testimony is as unique as you are.

One thing I love about testimonies is the power that a single testimony can have on so many lives. I am truly encouraged by other's stories and I am sure some of you have been too.

                                     

My Testimony by Marvin Sapp Normally, I don't talk about the songs I link to but this one is so inspiring. Don't just listen to it, feel it. Close your eyes and think on the words. "If you see me cry, it's just a sign that I'm still alive...in spite of calamity, He still has a plan for me". The words are so powerful they make you want to shout right out the chair. And if you're curious, there are mime dances as well as praise dances to this song that can also be viewed on YouTube.

If you're brave or just want to get something off your chest feel free to comment or let me know. We can communicate through email if you so choose.

Be blessed, not stressed.

And subscribe to this blog!!!! :D

Dating Part 2

Hello, there. Fancy seeing you again.

Well, if you haven't already please check out the first part of this post. It's called Dating. If you have, then let's get down to business (to defeat the Huns)! I left you guys with my list of must haves in a significant other as well as my list of attributes in a perfect man. I ended it by giving you the top three things that I believe are essential to any healthy relationship. Basically, neither party should abuse the other, they should have a vision but should have a job in order to support themselves until they achieve said life goal and the other party must be kind towards others because how they treat others is how they will treat you, even if you don't believe it right now.



I promised you a couple more of the essentials in every relationship and here they are:

The other person must be supportive. They should stick by you and support your dreams, encouraging to do your best and do whatever it takes to get there - as long as it's legal. A lifelong relationship can turn ugly real quick when someone decides to stop helping the other person. It can lead to misunderstandings, anger, hurt and hate. If who you are with is not supportive, it's time to move on to better things. There is no reason to stay with someone who cannot support you mentally, emotionally and spiritually.

Another thing that comes to mind is strength. Relationships require true strength to make it through all the hard times, the struggle and things of that nature. It's really to be in a relationship when everything is peaches and cream but what about the moment when things just keep going from bad to worse? You have to be able to say that you'll stick through it in the tough and rough times and actually live up to the things you say. When you are dating someone it takes a kind of strength to push you forward to the next step and it takes bravery and heart. I believe that any solid relationship needs to have this type of strength to truly make it.



Lastly, let's talk about what God says regarding relationships. My plan is to talk about beauty, respect, love, forgiveness and mercy and the importance of each of those in a life-long relationship.

Worldly beauty is completely different from godly beauty. Make sure that the person you are with is beautiful in God's eyes not just yours. Worldly beauty makes physical attributes more important than anything else. It becomes more important than personality, brains and talent. God does not see beauty in that way. Over the years I have come to realize that no matter who says I am beautiful or ugly, the only opinion is God's, you should too. The person you are with should be with you and love you because of your godly beauty and vice versa. Godly beauty is about the heart. What does that person value? Are they putting others before themselves? Are they loving, kind, wise and Spirit-filled? These are some of the things that come to the forefront when discussing Godly beauty and if you are currently dating someone, ask yourself these questions in regards to your significant other. See if you like the answers.

Respect is a necessary ingredient in any relationship. Not just respecting as how many people think of it on the surface. It goes deeper than that. In relationships one must respect the other's wishes, opinions, idiosyncrasies and beliefs. This is why it is so important to never go into a relationship with someone who believes differently than you do. Right now it may seem alright but as the relationship gets more serious you'll see how impactful belief systems are to a relationship. Then you come to a point where you are both wanting the other to change. You can't truly respect someone as they are while at the same time wishing they were someone different. TRUTH.

Next, let's talk about love. You would think that would be common sense but guess what? It isn't. Love is not the same as deep like. And I am not talking about that type of love where you're texting the other person and you say it just because you think it's the right thing to sya or because the other person says it first. In fact, if you are put into a situation where someone says they love you and you don't feel the same way, Tell Them! It'll let them know where you are at and make you feel more comfortable. Just because you say you love someone doesn't mean you actually ever will. More importantly, God wants us to love as He Himself loves. You cannot be in a lasting love with someone if you never loved them as the following first: a person, a brother/sister in Christ and a friend. It just doesn't work. Plain and simple. Period. And if you want to argue with me go right ahead, I do not mind whatsoever. In fact, I would love to see some comments, feel free to make them anonymous while you're at it.

Relationships cannot move forward if there is no forgiveness. We see this in the scriptures many time. When we hold on to something it keeps us from moving forward. It weighs it done. If the Almighty Lord has a sea of forgetfulness maybe you should consider getting one. Now, don't be stupid and let the other person run all over you but don't hold things over their head if they've asked your forgiveness. Even if the slap you across the face 77 times (Matthew 8:21-22). I feel like this is pretty simple so let's ease on down to...

....Mercy! Those who have read my blog know that I am a super huge fan of this thing called mercy. And so is God. God is extremely merciful. For those of you that are new here, welcome. Here's the definition of mercy I go by and I think it is the easiest to comprehend: Mercy is withholding something I do deserve out of His love for me. This is how God operates, He shows mercy and His mercy overcomes judgement. It should be the same in relationships, I know that this post is about dating but mercy must be a factor in every relationship in your life from friends to family to coworkers. Plus, it goes hand in hand with forgiveness. Mercy means that instead of inflicting blame or punishment even when someone deserves it ( and Lord knows a lot of people out there do).

That's my list of amazing and wonderful dating advice lol. I am no where near close to a relationship expert but now you have my opinion and can form your own.

Love, Peace, Chicken Grease.
Here's a song that I truly love: That Girl by R-Swift

Diversity in the Kingdom

Does Color Matter to God?

Yes. Not in the sense that your color will impact whether or not you make it into the kingdom but in the sense that God loves diversity. If He didn't why did He make everyone so unique? Why did He create different shades of color? Why would John still see diversity in those who had died and gone on to be with the Lord? Don't believe me? Read Revelation 7:9. If God didn't like diversity why would He make sure to keep it? And if diversity did not last even after death, how would John know that the multitude he saw came from all different nations while they were here on earth? Think about it. If you have any answers to these questions I would be glad to hear them.

God made us all unique for a person, it help shows His power and majesty. Furthermore, it shows us that no matter what someone may look like, where they are from or what language they speak God wants us to love ALL our neighbors. Not just one or two of the few we know. It's easy to love those who you know or at least are familiar with, it's a lot harder to love people who are different from you in every way. Even still, that is what God has tasked us to do. John says repeatedly in 1-3 John that as Christians we should both love and walk in truth. God is the truth. Jesus the Son is the truth. Therefore, we should walk as the triune God would have us walk and love in the same fashion. So what if they look different from you? We were all made in the image of the Creator, not just you! 

For more info see: Tony Evans, Oneness Embraced

How Can I Stay Proud of My Heritage while Repping Christ?

In Revelation 7:9 the only thing uniform was the white robes and palm branches held by the multitude. In this life, the one thing that God wants to be uniform is our love of the Father. We should be one in the fact that we love, serve and magnify Him. It's okay to be different, God made us that way. That being said, you should never have to feel like you have to get rid of your heritage or culture to serve God, as long as you don't worship other idols. If you have a certain way of dressing or speaking or even greeting others, hold on to that it is just one of the many things that make you who you are and He loves every single about it. That's why He chose to make you uniquely, beautifully, wonderfully, amazingly, you.

Much Love!

Here's a song that I think may cheer up those who didn't know what to do about heritage and Jesus before this post: Same Team Remix by Swoope

Why do I have to Change to Go to Church?

Easy answer? You don't.

Not really. A church shouldn't force you to change anything about yourself to feel accepted. The church is meant to be a place that people can come and feel God's love and Christ never turned anyone away. When you are a new Christian or are simply trying to determine if church is really where you want to be you should feel welcomed. The last goal of a church should be to isolate its members and its visitors. 

When you go to church, there are traditions but traditions do not override God's commandments. I am Black, for those who didn't know. In Black churches, the old school churches, deaconesses wear white, women wear large hats and have paper fans, tambourines and loud voices that can be heard outside the church during praise and worship. That's the type of environment I was brought up in but let me tell you something, that does not mean it is the only way to go. If the traditions of a church you attend make you uncomfortable and you don't feel like ti's a good fit, it probably isn't. Luckily, there are many churches in the world and when yous seek one you'll find one in which you can grow and get to know God.

Like I said before, isolation is the last thing a church should be doing. I just read 3 John and it made me think. Diotrephes is the perfect example of what a church should NOT be. And to be more specific, he is the epitome of a bad church leader. If you feel like the church you attend or one of those you have visited in the past is like this, RUN!!!!! He is arrogant, loud and outspoken. Diotrephes was actually turning people away from the church, y'all! Who does that???? Someone who doesn't want their authority questioned. Usually, this is because that person knows he or she is doing wrong and doesn't want an "outsider" to point it out to the rest of the congregation because it will cause him or her to lose standing and authority. This person bad mouths anyone who is not like them, they do not approve of the way others minister because it is unlike how they minister. Selfishness should not be a characteristic of a church official. The scripture says that Diotrephes loved being over others. He cared more about having the position then he did about doing good with the authority bestowed to him. When you see this in a church, watch out.

On the other hand, there is Demetrius. We only get to know him in one verse but that verse is all we need. Demetrius is how a church should be, how church leadership should act. No one had anything bad to say about him. He was of good moral character and moreover, he lived the way Christ wants us all to live. If you find that you go to a church you can be proud of, one in which the people are friendly and you feel the Spirit, then you should smile. It's a great feeling. This church doesn't turn anyone away. This church has its traditions, don't get me wrong, but it doesn't shun those who don't act on them. A church with a Demetrius as leader will allow any and all to come in. I am not saying it will be perfect, there may be some people who question your outfit or your hair or other unimportant things but the leadership never will.

The leaders set the standard for the church, when you go to a church don't go for the people. Or for the free stuff they may give out. Go because it has godly leadership. Remember, no one should force you to change just to walk into a sanctuary. If you feel compelled to afterwards, it's on you.

Now Behold the Lamb a song for my people.

Much love,
Chy

Dating

Christian Dating

What the heck does that mean? I mean, I have my own values towards dating but I heard this term and was so extra confused. Personally, I don't believe in dating someone I cannot see myself marrying and I REFUSE to date people who aren't Christian, truly Christian. Of course, I have other preferences but those are the two most important criteria on my checklist. Don't assume I am an expert, far from it but I believe that I can shed some light on this subject. How? First, giving my list and even a few things off of my "The Perfect Man" checklist that aren't really requirements but would be nice. Then I am going to outline a few things that I believe to be good in any relationship. Finally, I'll take it to the Bible and see what God says about dating. If this post goes a little long, I'll make it a series. You're forewarned.

My dating criteria:

1. Christian
2. Could be a great husband
3. Responsible and Caring
4. Loves his family
5. Involved in church
6. Has a direction in life
7. Sensible but funny
8. Good steward of money and other material things
9. Sweet
10. Honest, responsible and a good communicator
11. Trustworthy eyes
12. Healthy

My Criteria for the Perfect Man

1. At least 6'2
2. Handsome
3. Either muscular or suitably fit
4. Dark Skinned (I like chocolate lol)
5. Well-paying job
6. Nice teeth
7. Long hair

As you can see, my necessities are longer than my wants and more important. Plus, they're less vain! These are the traits I look for in someone I am considering and I refuse to make any promises if someone asks me on a date. I will gladly get to know anyone but if I get to know you and don't like what I know, it's over. I am not trying to be rude, but I don't like wasting my time or my words. Jesus never said anything unnecessary, so why should I. And if you don't approve, I completely understand. What are some of the things on your list of Man Must-Haves? Or Woman Must-Haves, for that matter?

For Any Relationship...

I think that there are some obvious qualities that are integral in any relationship which is why I did not mention them in the previous lists. One of those being a significant other that is not abusive. This is not just physically, mind you. It is mental and verbal abuse. When someone in your life is making you feel like less than what you felt before, when you are sad and hurt, hoping that things will one day get better even though you know in your heart it won't, that's abuse. Sometimes, we don't even know we are being abused. At first we think the fact that they want to know where we are is them showing concern, not being possessive. Then it progresses to you slowly being cut off from those around you such as friends and family. First, it was just a casual joke when they said you were putting on weight, then you start feeling bad about yourself. You diet and exercise but it's not for you, it's for them so that they'll approve. That, too, is abuse. Some say that no one can impact your self-esteem because it is self-esteem but I know that is wrong and very much so. After a while what you hear gets in your head, you internalize it and all of a sudden there is no escape. People can change your mindset, make sure you are around those who will impact it positively.

Another quality is to be someone with a practical vision and means to get there. Dreams are great, I am not knocking them but while you are on your way to becoming a famous actor or musician, have another means of income to support yourself. There should be no such thing as a struggling artist. The person you are with should be able to support themselves. If they can't, how can you expect them to support you? Not just financially, but emotionally as well. Their mind will most likely be filled with thoughts of what they will do to make ends meet the next day and other issues. They will be emotionally unavailable for the long term even if they seem like a great candidate up front.

Thirdly, make sure you know how your potential significant other acts towards others. You can tell a lot from watching someone interact with others. How do they treat their parents? Friends? Enemies? Those they see in the street? The people they work with and go to church with? When they see something unpleasant how do they respond? One thing I suggest is that you never allow yourself to open up to someone who does not respect others because they'll show you the same disrespect, maybe not at first but later on. Don't be blinded by rose colored glasses. If you see your potential mate doing something you do not like to see others do don't think that it is just a coincidence or that you can change. People only change when they wish to, that is a fact of life and be mindful of it.

Those are my top three tips, I have a few more but while I write the next post tell me what you think about dating, any ideas can help my other readers so please share.

Here's A Song: Love Never Leaves by Tedashii

Youth in Church 2

Why can't we do both? Connect tradition with innovation. Young and old together.

Hello all, this is just a continuation of my last spiel on youth in church. In the past, at least in Black churches children were expected to just sit and listen. Now, however, they grow up faster. Times are changing and with that, in my opinion, comes the need to change things in the church. I am not saying that the church needs to uproot the practices it has had but priorities should be reworked. Mark 7:8 warns us of the dangers of placing human traditions over the values Christ has asked us to have. We should bring people into the church and do it the way Paul did. 1 Corinthians 9:19-23 pretty much says that Paul fit the way he ministered to the people he ministered to so that they would understand it better and feel more comfortable about Christianity. He never gave up his value system or sinned to do this, he just became everything to everyone. Why can't the church as a whole?

Tambourines are wonderful and so are large choirs or praise teams. They connect us to our roots as well as lead us into the presence of the Most High. However, maybe once a month having the youth lead a service would be pretty amazing. They would feel involved and important and cared for while learning leadership skills and learning about the triune God. Let's take a minute to think of the possibilities.....Okay, minute over, Hehehe. What if there was a youth service every week, not on Sunday that specifically catered to youth. If it was laid back and fun and they could bring friends without worrying about stares and glares from ushers, deacons and church Mothers, what would happen. If they felt free to worship in anyway they saw fit. Not everyone worships by clapping and screaming. Some whistle, some dance, some sign, some laugh. 

If they truly felt comfortable, what change would the church see? And the strange thing is that we should never feel uncomfortable in a church. It shouldn't be strange to speak in tongues or pray to God. That's what we were born to do! We make people feel uncomfortable and we need to stop. If we didn't feel obligated to wear suits and ties, heels and dresses. If it felt like coming home every single time a person took a step into a sanctuary, just imagine the change in the world. Instead of isolating the young people we need to draw them in. 

However, this is just what I think. What do you think?

Church Clothes by Lecrae

Youth in Church

At my church, the one I grew up in anyway,  they seem to have stopped caring about the youth. Don't get me wrong we've been through tough times but I feel like it has become a dying church and that term shouldn't even exist. The church has grown a lot smaller and it feels like it started as soon as they got rid of the youth programs. No more children's church or Sunday school groups by age. No more game nights, no more tambourines or coloring books. No more talking with the teenagers,  all at once it seemed to disappear and with it went the next generation of saints.

The church isn't making an effort to reach the youth anymore but the youth is the now. If we don't reach the youth now, while parents are still dragging them to church,  those are lives that could've been saved that weren't. Doesn't that hurt to think about? 

Don't assume that I am talking about all churches. I'm not. But there are too many churches out there that ignore the same people who can bring in new ideas and perspectives and reach more young people and save a generation of people. If you give the youth some task to do, they'll do it just to keep from boredom. It seems like more often than not youth from 5 to 18 are ignored and as soon as it is no longer a familial requirement to attend service they stop. They have to do something with that free time and although there are many who do good, some get bored and look for excitement somewhere else.

When we were kids most of us fell asleep listening to the preacher talk about things we didn't understand. Yet, earlier that morning we would be laughing and playing and learning about Bible stories in a way we could comprehend. Do you have any experience with dying churches? Churches that are so stuck in their ways that any new way of thinking is banned. That shouldn't happen. Churches should be filled with people of all ages. Men and women. We are supposed to go to God early in our lives but we aren't reaching those who are young. There is no God just for kids and one just for teens. But we can teach them about the one and only God through different means and techniques so that they actually comprehend it.

I have reached out to the pastor of my old church. Being a young person I know how to understand them better than a 60 year old man. Every time I brought up an idea I was shunned or ignored. I thought about bringing back children's church, or just children's Sunday School, even a Bible based game night. Nothing. It is a sad thing to see a large church practically empty, it hurts my soul. Things have to change but change is not always a bad thing, it seems that the leadership of my church feel that it is though. The youth is not the only program that was done away with but it seems to have been the most impactful. What does your church do to reach the youth?

Any tips or helpful comments?