Found My Way

Lost

Hey guys, remember my post about losing my way? Well, I constantly felt lost and alone even though I made sure to wear a smile every day. Most of the time I felt like God was mad at me or that I was a mistake. And there are a lot of people out there who think the same thing, let's tell them that God does NOT make mistakes! We are all here for a reason, even if we have absolutely no idea what our purpose is yet. Nobody is worthless that takes the load off of another. I asked one of my friend's once: Wouldn't everybody be happier if I wasn't here? and you know what she said? You probably do, but still, that blew my mind. I always thought that everyone's problems would go away if I just disappeared and never came back. My parents would have money to spend, my friends would be happier and the sky would be bluer. I was so wrapped up in my own head that I couldn't let anyone in. Maybe it has something to do with my past, or maybe it's just me but that's not all there is to me. Not anymore. 

I am not a victim of what happened to me. I can't change the past but there is no point in me dwelling over what happened because it's just keeping me from doing what I should be doing. Sometimes you need to just let go and it can be really hard. Trust me, I know. It took me a really long time to let it go because I thought I had let it go already, but in reality I just put it in a closet at the back of my mind and locked it shut. And opening that door hurts, but it's past time for spring cleaning. What do you need to let go? Write it down. Think about it, then ask God to take every single thing on that piece of paper away, to remove it so that it can no longer keep you from moving forward and be delivered from it. Rip it up and never look back.

Found

Have you ever heard someone talk about finding God? I have and I think it's one of the most ironic things ever. It's not like God was ever lost, you were the one who decided to get off the path and pick roses until dark then get surprised when you wind up at a hose made of candy. God found us and we willingly ran back into His arms. Well, sometimes God has to do a lot more to get our attention and trust me, it was like God had to shake me awake. Whew....it was rough but I'm here now and have no plans of straying again. I'm not saying that it's all roses but I don't feel completely isolated anymore, I'm not perpetually sad and I don't want to disappear. Back then, I always made sure to forgettable, I didn't want anyone to remember that I was there. I wouldn't want anyone to be sad if I were just to disappear for good one day. And trust me it worked. It's not until I wanted to be noticed that I realized how good I was at being invisible. But I'm working on being visible, on making my mark on other people. And hopefully it's a good mark. I don't want to be lost anymore. Do you? Find Your Way by KB