Intentional Friendships

"Friends! How many of us have them? Friends! Ones we can depend on. Friends! Before we go any further let's be friends!"

I know I write a lot on friendships but they are important so I shall continue to write! Feel free to post any questions, comments or social criticisms below.

"What about your friends, will they stand their ground? Will they let you down again? What about your friends, are they gonna be lowdown? Will they ever be around? Or will they turn their backs on you?"

The first quote is "Friends" by Whodini and the second is TLC's "What About Your Friends?". Most people have heard at least these parts of the songs and that is all that is really needed to understand this post. Actually, it really isn't, I just love both of those songs and they have been stuck in my head so, why not?

I was talking to a lady recently whose son had been in a horrible accident and she was telling me that at first, all of his friends were there helping and supporting him but in a matter of a couple weeks, no one was there. No calls or visits anymore, nothing. Isn't that just plain awful. But I guess that can happen. I told her that those people weren't really friends, they may be acquaintances, but you have to choose the people you call friend wisely. Not everyone you hang out with or talk to occasionally is your friend. That brief little chat got me thinking about all the people I have called friend in the past. Not all of them were real friends but I wanted to make it seem like I was well-liked so that is what I called them in different circles when the truth was I couldn't really stand most of them. Isn't that ridiculous?

It also made me wonder how many of those people really were friends that just lost communication for other reasons. I mean the young man is in college, there are sports, activities, events that his friends must participate in. Plus, because he cannot get around he has his mother staying with him in his dorm room, which is a bit awkward for those who are barely 19 and want to be on their own. There is also the possibility that he may be a jerk, but I have met with him and he seems to be a wonderful person but his constant procedures and medical needs keep him on a schedule that some may find it hard to fit into. My earlier post was about intentional music, this one is about intentional friendships. Some of you may be singing the well-known Travis Greene song in your head right now, and I am not mad at you for it, I just want to go deeper than that.



Above is a picture of Pon and Zi, two friends that I have loved since middle school. Back then, however, I was in a constant state of anxiety and I daresay depression and I used these images to remind me of broken relationships. It saddened me but made me happy because it felt like I wasn't the only one. Misery loves company, I guess. The creator of Pon and Zi has many sad images of the couple but many positive ones as well. (Disclaimer: I do not have any rights to them). I love this image because it is an example of what a real friendship is like. I was walking down the street with a friend I shall call M and we started singing at the top of our lungs, just random songs on our way home from helping out with a church event. It was late at night and people probably thought we were drunk but I didn't care and she didn't care because we were having fun together.

And I have another friend named F and whenever we get together we are a hot mess. Recently, she came to visit me and brought her boyfriend and I am sure he got to see a new side of her because we have always had this saying, "A friend is someone who will help you up when you fall. A best friend is someone who will push you down, laugh and then help you". Friends are the ones you can be your crazy, wonky, sarcastic self with. Friends will get all weird and fan-girl with you over the stuff your into even though it seems strange to others like anime and K-pop. Friends are always there when you need them. I mean, that is not totally true but they are there about 90% of the time. The only person who is always there is Jesus, but Jesus is our friend, right guys? ;)

I am such and tired of calling people friends who are really just colleagues or acquaintances that I won't get to know to well outside of whatever area I met them in. Just because someone is a friend of a friend does not make them mine and just because we got to the same church or watch the same shows does not make you my friend.

What makes a person qualified to be your friend?

Today's song is a classic: Robin Williams singing Friend Like Me

Intentional Music

Yay! This post is really all about music. Can you guys guess some of my favorite artists? No? I honestly didn't expect you to. I love music, it can change your entire mood and if you're not careful you're entire thought process. Some people who are Christian still listen to secular music and I, for one, do not have a problem with this. I still listen to some of the same music I did before I was born again. I believe that the real problem comes when you start listening to the music that held you captive in the world and think it wont effect you now that you want a relationship with God. But your are still growing in that relationship and before you start trying to play tag with the devil you need to build up your spiritual strength and make sure all your armor is on correctly. I have written about it before but the devil doesn't even try to tempt you with new stuff once you're saved, he brings those old things into remembrance. That is why we must be mindful and intentional about what we listen to. If you had a serious issue with cussing in the world and still listen to vulgar music, stop. If you had issues with lust and want to listen to the same pornographic songs, don't.

I am not saying that this is a one step process for everyone because it isn't but music impacts us more than you may think. When it first came out I listened to Lazarus by Trip lee every single day for over a month at the start of my day. it put a smile on my face and pumped me up. It prepared me with a positive attitude in which to face the day. Think about what you listen to in the morning and what you listen to at night. It doesn't always have to be Christian but it should never be something that pulls you back into wherever you were. It should be positive and uplifting. Personally, I love soul, R&B, neo-soul and showtunes. I could listen to Leela James or Gregory Porter all day. But that music still has a positive message in it, there is no profanity and if there is very very little and it is something I would not mind listening to with my grandma. Think about that next time you sit down and put headphones in your ear. Better yet, think about how God would feel if you listened to that song in His presence, because that is what you are doing.



Do you need something inspirational to listen to? Well, here is a list of my suggested artists and note that not all of them are Christian artists.

1. Leela James
2. Music Soulchild
3. Lyfe Jennings
4. Tedashii
5. Jonathan Mcreynolds
6. Gregory Porter
7. Brian Mcknight
8. Trip Lee
9. JGivens
10. John Givez
11. Canon
12. Andy Mineo
13. Shope
14. Swoope
15. Travis Greene
16. Martha Munizzi
17. Fantasia
18. Anthony Hamilton

We have to be mindful of everything we allow to be in our personal space because even though it may not seem like it at the time, it does mean something. I remember when I was young and CD's were still popular that my my dad, my brother and I were all driving somewhere and my dad had put in a Snoop Dogg CD. I fell asleep on the armrest in the back but when I woke up and the next time I heard one of those songs, I knew it by heart and I didn't even remember listening to it! We internalize everything we hear and see and that is why we have to be careful. We're meant to be in this world, not of it and if you still have the same mindsets as those in the world can you really say you are a Spiritual being? That is rhetorical but it is also something I want people to answer down below if you so choose.

The song for the day is Confetti by Shope

Get Myself To Right

"I gotta get myself together, 'cause I got someplace to go. And I'm praying when I get there I'll see everyone I know. I wanna go to Heaven."

Everybody knows Mary Mary, the dynamic sister duo backed up and supported by their family. At least everybody I know anyway. Well, this song just came to mind because it reminds me of what I need to do to get myself right. And soon. I have been pretty much alone in my grad school experience, no close friends or acquaintances, no one to hold me accountable or talk to about heavy issues except God. And I know very well that I need to be going to God with my issues and situations (both good and bad) but sometimes you need other people.

Lately, I stopped.

I stopped living the way I am used to and as a result I started getting bad, for lack of a word to describe my utter uselessness. It started affecting me physically. I felt drowsy and lazy while at the same time having all this nervous energy built up inside. Plus, I want you all to know that I am not coming from a place of victory against this thing just yet but I do understand it and I do know that I will be victorious. Now, back to your regularly scheduled broadcast. I was feeling ridiculously low and all of the old stuff I thought was dead and gone in the past started trying to come back. I started having awful nightmares and waking up in pools of sweat, started overeating (and I had trouble with binging in high school), started feeling just plain awful, procrastinating with the simplest tasks and putting off anything and everything that I didn't see as urgent. And the only thing I saw as urgent was sleep.

Well recently, I realized that maybe the reason I was feeling low down and just altogether messed up is because I had stopped living the way I am used to. I have not danced since I have been here. I have not worshipped in the morning before the start of my day, I have been slacking in bible study (I still do it but the commitment is not there as it should be) and I have not really been striving after God, even though I wrote posts about it. It is one thing to say something and another thing to live it out.

And that is where I come to in this little narrative. I had stopped living for God. Like, seriously! And the worst part is how long it took me to notice but God is still good and still moving in my life. Therefore I started thinking about what it meant to live. Just live and I looked at it from a secular and a Christian perspective.

According to dictionary.com to live is just to be alive and capable of vital functions. I don't really like this definition because it means that those who are disabled are not truly living. There were two definitions I looked up in my concordance though, The Hebrew chayah and the Greek zao. The first means to keep alive, to revive, to suffer to live, nourish up, preserve, and to be whole. Zao means to live, quicken.

So, I decided to read two passages: Psalm 119:17-24 (Gimel) and Psalm 118:17.

According to Psalm 119:17, to live is to keep God's word. And according to its counterpart the chapter before living is synonymous with declaring God's works. In Psalm 119:20 David says his soul broke for longing to live righteously. How can a soul break? I don't know but I know it's more powerful than when your heart breaks. From this I got that not only can I not make it on my own but if I am not living for the Lord then I am not living at all. And I had to stop putting off my responsibilities as a Christian. I wasn't really making God a priority, much less was He the center of my life. (And for those who don't know, when I say God I mean the Triune God: Father, Son and Holy Spirit.) So instead of putting it off I have to start saying yes.

 No more silencing the King.

Well Done by Deitrick Haddon