Yaaas Jesus! Continued

So, I bet that some of you are wondering what I was so excited about. Well, I am planning on going to graduate school and that's a process in and of itself. The applications take forever, they took me two months. Plus, they are crazy expensive. I was lucky enough to get the fee waived for a lot of them, but adding up the costs that I couldn't get waived, I paid well over $200 and nobody can afford that! Especially not with the school I'm going to and not on my tiny little salary. And people said everyone in my generation was spoiled. The devil is a lie! I have had to work for everything you got, in my family you had to work for. We learned that ain't nobody in this world gonna give you a handout and so family isn't going to either. I had to use most of my little bank account to pay for these apps and now I have to wait to hear back to see if I have even got accepted.

That's where I'm at right now. Waiting. And I have never had my nerves wracked like this before. These people seem to just be stepping on my tiny little patience. But besides that, I am busy waiting to hear back from the schools and lo and behold. I got accepted to one of them! And I got an interview to another, yaasss Jesus!!! I actually had my interview today and I think it went pretty well but only time will tell. It's in the Lord's hands now. I applied to 8 different schools and I am no taking no for an answer. I don't want to take a year off and I don't want to give up. Not anymore. I even had some doubts today before the interview but my grandpa shared some words of wisdom with me. He told me what his mom always used to tell him: "Ain't nobody better than you and you ain't better than nobody else". I had never thought myself better than anyone else but I have always had a self-efficacy issue. I used to think that I couldn't control anything in my life and that nothing I did could ever make my life better and I've gotten better with this, no doubt, but it is definitely still a problem. Today, all I could think of is what if I stutter and stammer and act a hot mess at this interview? I have never been the best public speaker, but them again I don't have to be do I? I just have to be able to get my point across and that is exactly what I did today. Well, that's what I set out to do at least. And it's better to fail than to not try.

I was excited in my last post because it was like God was cheering me on and he wasn't just on the sidelines, he was running the race right next to me and that is something that I am forever grateful for.